I really didn't know how to do this dare. When we were married we just recited the traditional vows. I researched how to write vows, what to include, etc. And with some help through prayer, they came together. I was a little off yesterday, not necessarily angry, but a part of me was still harboring a little of the hurt from the results of dare 39. I prayed a lot! And when i wrote the vows, the words just flowed out. I stopped to re-read them, and that smile on my face came back. It was because I knew at that moment how great God's love was for me. I also knew how happy it made me to serve the Lord and love my husband even if he doesn't feel the same. I also felt a little encouraged that maybe these vows just might be of use to me one day...
I spoke with a friend of mine yesterday who is in a similar situation, though she isn't married (Her fiancee indefinately postponed the wedding, then recently pretty much told her he was done, but he won't let her go either). Anyway, we can relate to each others feelings and encourage one another to trust in God. She was telling me yesterday about her situation & said it must be God testing our patience...I agreed. Then I thought about it & said, "or is He telling us to trust Him completely & not worry about it"? I am letting go of everything slowly. I notice that some nights I can care less about who my husband is talking to or texting, other nights I get crazy thoughts, but I try to be quick to prayer when that happens & let God handle it. God has sent me many little signs to ease my doubts and I need to continue to remember those rather the negative thoughts. I need to take that same approach for our marriage, today & everyday: remember the good, forget the rest, trust in God completely.
I look at my husband, and i see the amazing man he is. I used to look at him and wonder about the other woman & what exactly happened, but I don't care anymore. All I care about is that he is here with me, even though in this situation, it was all meant to be this way & I acctually thank God for our past. It is becasue of our history that I am here today, filled with love & mercy from God. I definately still have hope, but I expect nothing from God, becasue only He knows what is best for me. I would like for that to be my husband, but if God says it is not, than I will accept his love & all the blessings he has given me & I will continue to do His will.
Dare one again today...Patience :)
When you count on Christ for all your cares, then you can move on each day without worrying. Leave it to Him...