Well I made it to day 40. what a wonderful journey it has been. I have learned so much about myself & Gods love for me. It is joyous & I feel truely blessed.
I sent an e-mail of commitment to my husband on day 39, it felt good for me to write this letter. At least I know where I stand on this matter. It has been hard to listen to people who say I am crazy for commiting to my husband right now. I look at the bigger picture though, I commited my marriage to my husband infront of witnesses & most importantly to God. I do not take these promises lightly. What my husband does is between himself & God. I am peaceful that whatever happens between us is out of my hands. I am living Gods word, accepting his gracious love & truely happy.
I still have my days of crying, I am reconising the feeling that comes over me when I reach for the riens of my life journey. It is wonderful to reconise these feelings, say a quick prayer of forgiveness, know I am forgiven & release the riens back to the Lord to guide me.
I am commiting myself to the second round of the Love dare, this time it is for my Savior, myself & for my marriage. Yes in that order. I have learned I am not nor can I control anything, I can not change my husband anymore than I can change the weather, but I do have control how I live my life following God's journey for me, ifI just give up the control & listen, learn, accept & do what he wants me to do.
I will end this part of my journey by saying thank you for all the wonderful encouragement I have recieved over this very short 40 days, I know things will get worse bwefore they get better, either way I am a new person, I am loved and better yet..I feel Jesus love for me, truely feel the love of my Savior. That alone has made any & all pain worth every second, I have learned a lesson that has changed my life forever & I am grateful & blessed.
Linda, I must say, you have come a long way. And your comment it will get worse before it gets better. I truly think that you are through the worst of it. You are at the point where you know that all your concerns, all your worries and everything else is left with Christ. So you can smile when this life brings you problems because no matter what it is, may be inconvienent, but it is not more than you can handle.
Praise him for all he does.