Collaborate without boundaries

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  • My husband and I have been separated on and off since last summer.  This last time in March, we decided it was going to be for good and the divorce is nearing finalizing.  However, a couple of weeks ago, I started feeling like I owe it God to give this everything I have.  At this point, I am on Dare 4 and have done each dare with no expectation of a response as he literally will not speak to me.  His only response about once a week is "Decisions have not been easy, but I am confident in mine, and it is final.  Please respect that."  So what does that mean? That I stop trying?  When I met with my pastor this week, he said as long as you are married, God calls you to never stop trying.  Today when I text him, "hey, how is your day? Is there anything I can do for you?" I received no response which is usual, but is defeating.  Should I back off and respect his decision?

  • Welcome.  Realize this is a journey between you and Christ, not you and him. He will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  And do the dares as intended.  Such as calling him instead of texting him this dare, unless you can not call him at all.  As you are doing, do not have expectations when doing the dares. Do not read ahead in the book other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  

    Things may get worse before it gets better, but this serves purpose.

    Don't back off doing a dare a day,.  Some people want to back off so they don't have to face the feeling of rejection or defeat.  Stand for the marriage.  if a d happens, let it all fall on him.

    YOur pastor said as long as you are married.....But just because a court says you are divorced does not mean God sees you as divorced.  What God brings together let no man separate.  many churches are getting very lax about the acceptance of divorce.

    Try journaling under The Love Dare Journal section of this site.  it is under the community tab.  More people will respond to you in that section.  if you can't find that section, come back here and I will try to guide you in how to find it.  

  • Thanks Tim! Unfortunately, when I call he doesn't answer.  I am fearful of rejection or defeat as it is hard to let God take the reigns.  I am trying to stand with everything I have.  Ill try out the community also!

  • Try leaving a voicemail if he doesn't answer.  Hearing your words and the tone in your voice is so much better than a text that can often be read and taken the wrong way.

    We often really rely on text because of what you mentioned.  Fear. Rejection.  But, when you do the dares as they are intended to be done, without manipulating them, that is when Christ works the most in you.  

    We all face fear in doing the dares.  but fear is not of God.  So, let Him conquer the fear in you.  Trust that you were called to do the dares by Him and do them the best you can.

    Yes, try out the Love Dare Journal section under the community tab.  Type on your name in the upper right hand corner and a red bubble should pop up about a third way down on the right hand side.  Click it then click on your messicknic journal.  I think that will take you to where you need to go.  You may even want to copy and paste your entry here into the journal section.  

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