Well where to begin,
Last week I brought her two separate set of flowers, and brought the baby to her work for lunch. This was prior to finding the community to start the Dare. I stated with day 1 on Wednesday. Trying to watch what I say in front of her. Lately I have been questioning her trust with other men. It has irritated her a lot. I have been having a lot of sleepless nights and major depression and anxiety, I have never had this issue before. My Dr. placed me on Prozac so hopefully it works. We ended up have a great weekend Friday was the movies, Saturday was all day at the mall with me not complaining about how long it takes for her to pick out clothes.lol. We had a great talk about trust and love dare that i'm using to help with building better habits. Last night she was really tired and didn't wan to do anything. So I made the comment that she secretly got an IUD placed at her Dr.s appointment on Saturday, and told me they just put her on birth control. Now this morning she said that she was irritated again about what I said. She told me that most of the time the person that accuse the other spouse of cheating its usually the one cheating. I told I've never thought about it. I screwed up again. Now Im sitting here at home while she is at work over thinking everything. I've had seven days off, now have to work tonight, not thinking of going, but do I need to go to give her her space and to have her start missing me? I'm so confused . Any advice will be greatly appreciated .
First. Do you have the book or are you just doing the dare on the website? You really need to have the book.
Your trust issues are way deeper than you know. You are depending on your flesh to trust and there you will always go in the hole.
Through this dare, this journey you will find many things about yourself. Most especially you own selfishness. For example complaining about shopping. As you can see through this last experience there is nothing wrong with it other than your own selfish nature that will end up causing more problems than it is worth.
I do have the book. It just seams that I need to start over from step one again.
Then do it. But this time understand this is a journey between you and Christ. Your spouse is just a tool in this journey. Take time to read the appendix. Especially the section on leading the heart.
Thank you Sean for the help. I have now certainly realized that its a marathon not a sprint. Talking to her this morning, she mentioned that the last week or so I've been very sweet and helpful, but she said it was overwhelming . She said she needed some space ( yes I was shocked) but she said it was more of like free time an hour here or so after a long day of work. She says since I had 8 days off it seems like we spent every minute with each other. She said that she feels guilty of all the nice things that I have done for her and she doesn't have the chance to express love in return because i've been smothering her. Which she says she's not use to. This is when I realized its a marathon not a sprint.
It is actually a journey... And make sure she knows that what you are doing is you finding what love really is and that you expect nothing in return because it is your duty in Christ to love her unconditionally.
Nothing in return, yeah, i need to work on that.
Have no expectations of getting nothing in return. Take a few minutes and see if you can look back and see where others have done for you and you returned nothing. And if you find nothing then you are justifying your actions.