My husband approached me 5 days ago saying that he was no longer in love with me like he used to be and is considering divorce. This was a complete shock to me. Completely heartbreaking by some of the things he said he felt. It was only a conversation, not an argument and we have not argued about this since. I agreed on some of his points and told him I respect him for his honesty. We talked about a separation last night and I feel devastated. I know I need to take this time to let God work on me and be me. The very next day after he told me, I went and bought the book. I am on day 4 and today I am having a hard time. I called him around 10 this morning. It is his day off and he is at home. He was friendly but when I asked him if he needed anything, he immediately became defensive and irritated that I asked him that. also noting that I don't usually call in to ask him that. I told him I just has him on my mind but he was irritated none the less. I am hopeful that I can rely on God through this. I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen. I don't know how to not be his wife and it is so hard to imagine not being his wife. He is my best friend and I would have never gotten married had I ever thought we would be at this place.
His timing with this is all a little odd. Over the past year I have been grieving my fathers passing. I have been very extremely up and down with this and have been taking the steps to figure it all out. (The up and down was my husbands hardest thing with me and one of his main points for his un happiness). I went to a dr. appt 2 days ago and found out that I am bi-polar. IT was a hard pill to sallow and when I told my husband, he was very cold to me. He told me he had figured and wasn't sure he wanted to deal with things like that regardless of me starting a daily medication. Yesterday was hard with all of that happening. Today seems harder. I feel alone other than God. I feel like it is all my fault and that there is literally nothing I can do but try this book and hope that God had a light for me. I dont know what else to do.
Hey Nicole! Welcome!
Getting started is always the hardest part! But stick with this, it is an awesome journey with God! The best advice I can give you is to take things one day at a time (difficult when we are anxious for what is to come) because this is not a sprint, it is most definitely a marathon, lean on God's understanding (not your own), and be easy with yourself. God will show you His paths pretty soon.
Losing a parent is so hard, and it is something other people cannot fully comprehend until they have to go through it. You are suddenly rethinking everything you feel and everything you know, you're afraid of losing other people. You wake up one day feeling great and the next thinking the pain will never end. There is a hole in your heart, and its an aching that's insatiable. I am so sorry for your loss, I know that pain is terrible. You feel completely alone, but God has not abandoned you. He knows every tear that you cry. Take it to God, He alone can help you begin to heal from such a difficult loss.
This journey is a hard one, but it is well worth it. You are going to learn the meaning of true unconditional love. Try not to beat yourself up over the things in the past. They are over with and you are beginning a new season with God. You must let go of the mistakes you feel you have made and let God fill you up with His TRUTHS and His love :)
Another thing is while you are taking this journey, your husband is not, and you have to remember that he is not going to understand your journey with God, he may try to cut you down, but marriage is a sanction, so you stand your ground, and let God do the rest. Don't expect anything from him right now. God will work on your husband in His time. You will soon find that when you put God first and learn who you are truly meant to be through Him, you will be untouchable :) Trust Him, and take EVERYTHING to Him in prayer, He will always listen! Immerse yourself in the Word, it is there that you will find His wonderful wisdom. Ask Him to fill those lonely voids. And remember HIS timing is ALWAYS perfect!
God Bless you on this journey :) *hugs*
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phil 4:6
Take some time to read the appendix. There is great prayer help there. There is also a section on the heart that is very important in this journey. Read that before you continue... It will not only help you but you will get a sense of understanding how your husband is deceived by his.
In this journey Christ will find many ways to humble you, to expose things to you, but also comfort you. We are all experts at asking Christ in our times of need. But this journey is one that is more learning to listen.
Come here each day. We will be here with you along the way...