Oh my goodness I did not want to do this.
The hesitation I had in this is that I did not want to put my neck on the line again just to get it run over.
I assume spouse will just stay quiet and observe in his own way to see if I really mean what ive said.
It will be a test and a yeard stick for me that he would use to say " you said that you would love me no matter what..."
God helped me to write this in that he just reminded me of how I felt when I married him in the first place.
He helped me to see that the love I have has changed for him and that I would like his love for me to change as well and that this was something that I had to acknowledge.
the process taught me that I am willing to obey God even when it is uncomfortable. I had to look deep inside myself and wait on the Lord to speak or else I would just run off with some shallow words that do not reflect my heart.
this was really tough and though i wrote it out last night, he did not read it till this morning before he was leaving for work.
He didnt get to read it all and so I saw him put it in his bag before he left for work.
If he is not confused by all this, I sure am! It is really scary to expose yourself like that becuase I feel that if I say all these things, it means that I am endorsing all the wrong that he is doing and that he will feel loved to continue in the same way knowing that well, wife said that she loved me no matter what, and I told the Lord that i felt that was not the impression that I was trying to give him.
Well, none the less, the dare was done, I will see the reaction from it today. I am glad that is over and would rather just crawl into a whole and lie there for a while as the next bust up looms in the horizon and I will get a " well you said you loved me no matter what so what now!" response.
ahhhhhggggg this does not feel good at all.(sigh)
Your joy can't come from you husband, but from within you through God. Like people always say, pray on the dare, comeplte it as instructed, and leave the rest to the Lord. We all struggle with that last one, but it is the most important. Remember we are impatient humans, but God works on His own terms in His own time, only when the time is right for us. Stay strong and continue. Exposing yourself is a step in love, and remeber love endures all things.
Jason, thank you for this reminder especially on praying on the dare and doing it as instructed.
Yes, love endures all things... even this.
Our spouses will look for us to fall in this journey. They will point it out to us as well. That is why our testimony is so so important.
That is so true Sean. I see that already and it really gets to me.
It really shows me juat how far apart we are and it was only God that knew that all along.
i cant help but get upset at it all but it is only because my eyes have been opened in this dare that i can see otherwise, i was just as blind to it all.
Its a real struggle to be humble when everything is telling you to call the other out now that you can see things clearly.
thats where the test is for me.
That is the real test for us all. But this is where we trust Christ.