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Re: Day 39: somewhat genuine

Day 39: somewhat genuine

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  • I prayed to GOD about what I should write in my letter and I thought about 1 Corinthians 13 and that ultimately that is what i wanted to achieve.  I wanted to be able to love my husband unconditionally.  I wrote him the letter stating my commitment and resolve and promise to love him.  I incorporated that bible verse into the letter.  He didn't read it until I was next to him.  He was surprised about one sentence that I wrote about promising not to rejoice at his wrong doings.  He said that was sick if I do that.  I told him NO it was just part of something I wanted to incorporate in the letter.  So he finished reading it and didn't say anything.  I tried not be upset.  BUT I was.  I tried not to be disappointed BUT I was.  Unfortunately this made me irritable and led into an argument about some other stuff.  I don't feel my heart was completely into the letter.  Hence it was only somewhat genuine.  I think I'm still irritable from our argument yesterday and it was kinda forced to do the letter now.  I am hopeful that for the next round I will be in a much better space when I write it and it can truly be from my heart.   I feel like I can write all these things but I also must feel it and my actions my convey it as well.  Otherwise it's nothing but empty words.   I will pray for GOD's continued love and guidance and his will in my life and my wisdom and ability to understand it and accept it. 

  • The next time you get to this dare. Do not use email. Take the time to write it out. It will be more personal...

    But other than that. you are still having expectations. And that is not what this is about. You are to love unconditionally, with or without expectations.

  • I did write the letter out. it was not email.  I think I just ruined the dare by getting into it with him about other stuff and I was irritable and disappointed in his non reaction.  Yeah I'm still stuck with expecting things from him.  I gotta let that go and give that to GOD.  I dunno why it's so hard.  I hope the next time around I will be more successful at doing them as intended without any expectations.  

    I think when I start to feel an inkling of expectations I will turn to GOD in prayer to help me let that go and to give that over to GOD to handle.

  • You must.... And you will get so much out of it this second time around.

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