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Re: Day 39 - Love never fails??

Day 39 - Love never fails??

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  • Me and my wife have been seperated for nine months - she is living 1000 miles away from her home and family. She does not talk about divorce and that she will come home eventually, maybe. I do not know how much longer i can hold on. I read the dares and have tried them, but with her not being in the house it has been difficult. I have dedicated my life to walking a christian path but am struggling. My faith grows thin at times. Their is no doubt in my mind she will come home, but without specifics  I get very frustrated. I am very analytical and need structure in everything I do and their is no structure to my current situation. I am a wreck emotionally and physically. My job is all I have to hang onto to keep me going. I wrote her a letter and called her to read it to her with not much of a response. I am lonely and frustrated. Please, I need all of the help I can get

  • This is a very difficult journey so don't be so hard on yourself. Complete the dares to the best of your ability. Pray over them. Ask God for his guidance. If I could tell you one thing that will help, is to focus on Christ. This is something that took me a very long time to learn in my journey. Every thought in your day should be of Christ. The second you wake up, you should be thinking of Him. Your thought before you go to sleep should be of Him. Praise Him always, even when you don't feel like it. Praise should be on your lips constantly. Once you get to this point, He will fill every void and you will finally be at peace.

    Also, "don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." If you start thinking about the future, lay it at His feet and ask God to fill every void.

  • i am trying to be faithful to his word but my resolve grows thinner each day - i  am all alone with no friends to speak of so there is not much of a support group for me - i just get all balled up in pity and loneliness i cannot see the forrest for the trees - i love my wife unconditionally but have not seen her in 9 months - she has not mentioned divorce but does not want to live with me, says to give it time - i do not know how much time i have left in me

  • The reason your faith grows thin is because your faith is based on conditions. Which at the moment is OK. So is your marriage. That is just how you know how to love.

    So here is your chance. Take the time to look at the dares as a journey with Christ. One where your wife is the tool in the journey. Look at this as Christ first and every dare you do is to allow Christ to mold you so that you learn to love. The right way, not the worldly way.

    With Christ all things are possible. And learn Christs way, so that you learn to love her better.

  • We all completely understand how you feel and how difficult this is. Just as Sean said, "look at your wife as a tool in the journey." Think of her as the tool that Christ uses to draw you closer to Him. My husband is being that tool daily. The more hurtful and further he pushes me away from him, the closer I get to Christ. How cool is that!

    Also, ask Christ to fill that void of loneliness and tell Him that you need His help. He wants to help you. Ask Him to give you the courage and strength to keep fighting. I never in a million years thought that I would be able to do this 3 times, but God has provided me with the strength and courage to keep going. I understand your loneliness. I live 4 hours away from my family and have only 1 friend that is supportive of me right now. Sometime I would ask God, "Why are you taking everyone away from me?" The answer... because I'm all that you need. God had to take everything away from me for me to finally wake up and realize that I couldn't live without Him and if I would just accept Him, His love, His joy and happiness into my life I would be able to see that all I need is Him. Maybe He is saying that same to you.

    To be honest with you, right now, you are way too focused on your wife. I'm on round 3 and it took me  until now to finally realize that I too was focusing too much on my husband. Once your focus is no longer them, and you give every thought to Christ, I promise you will find the peace that you so desire. Something that helped me was that every time I thought about my husband, I would say to myself, I’m not focusing on him right now, I’m focusing on You (Christ) right now. I’m not saying that Christ doesn’t want you to think about your wife, but for me, I had to make every thought about Christ so He could become first in my life.

  • Melissa, Sean,

    Thank you both for tyour words of encouragement and reasoning. You are both right. I am focusing on my wife, she is all I have had for years and I really know nothing else but for her to be central in my life. I am going to do this as many timesas it takes, thanx again for your encouraging words

  • Absolutely! It is great that you see/regonize that she was the center of your life. Now that you acknowledge that, switch the role and make Christ the center of your life. That is what He is desiring from you.

  • You must love Christ first to love her better!

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