Collaborate without boundaries

Re: dare 38

dare 38

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  • I feel like I might have kind of failed at this dare...but I also feel like something important happened. 

    I prayed and prayed to try to think what it is my husband really desires, and all i could think of was happiness.  The problem with that is that I am not sure how he defines happiness.  We've talked about it before, but it always comes down to he's just not happy here with me & he's not exactly sure what would make him happy but he's sure it's not me.  So all i could think of is that only God can bring him the happiness he desires.  I prayed for that.  But I also wanted to DO something for him, and I might have strayed off course here.  He is very into his work out routines and he's been wanting a good heart beat monitor but hasn't purchased one becasue of the price.  So I found one I thought he would like and I bought it for him.  In past dares, I have been leaving things for him or writing things in notes verses talking to him so I resolved to not do that this time.

    That's the "important" part, i think.  I waited till the day had calmed down, the kids were sleeping I was back from my run & I sat down and chatted a bit with him about his work outs.  I knew the gift would be accepted with a bit of hesitation & maybe even rejection, but I prayed to God before I spoke with my husband and I simply told him I was really proud of his dedication & I handed him the gift.  He hesitated to take it & when he saw what it was he immediately said that we cant afford something like that.  I didn't tell him, but I am planning on stopping my hair coloring treatments to save money & that would cover the cost of the gift.  However, he also said he appreciated it.  I told him I felt that he has been dedicated & that I was proud and that I thought this might keep him motivated.  I also said that he deserves it.

    I think I had another "realization" today.  I have been griping about communication to him for so long...but i don't think it was an issue with him.  I think I stopped communicating with him.  I put up walls of anger and resentment and I wouldn't talk to him about things that mattered.  And now I feel the roles have reversed...he's put up his walls again...he doesn't trust me.  I would always write things in notes becasue I was so nervous to talk to him, I didn't pray on it prior to talking to him.  It was all about me being in control.  If I wrote him a letter, he couldn't argue about it.  The past few dares I prayed on before doing them, and God gave me the strength and courage to talk to my husband without the butterflies & without worrying about what might happen.  I guess I just trusted Him to lead me & guide me. 

  • I would not call that a failure.

    Stay on the path that everything you do requires Christ to be a part of it, no matter how small it is. That is what God desires. That you make Him first.

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