I prayed for the strength and courage to do this dare as asked & not my own way because I knew it would be really hard. But I did it anyway :) I wasn't as nervous as I always get before tough dares, I didn't really think about how to say it either, I just let the Lord guide me. I turned to my husband and asked him if he would consider praying together. He litterally stopped what he was doing- he was very surprised by the question. He asked me why? I really didn't know what to say, but words came out anyway. I just told him that I've always heard how helpful it is to pray alone, but where more than one pray it is even more powerful. That's when he became a little mean. He asked why all of the sudden I wanted to do this & that we've never prayed together before & what I think it will do for us. He didn't say it, but he was implying that it wouldn't do anything for our relationship. I simply stated that prayer is good for the soul & that we could learn from each other when it came to praying & growing in prayer. He asked me if I thought this was a way to "fix" him & if I thought he was crazy again. I told him I did not think he was nuts & there was nothing about him that needed to be fixed- i told him he was great (because he really is). I said I was sorry if I upset him.
I was a little shocked by his defensiveness about it, honestly. I guess I expected him to kind of brush it away as he does a lot of things, i definately expected the rejection. On the other hand- I was glad I did this because I knew I was NOT in control. I did it for God. I didn't know what to say & I didn't think of defenses before I spoke to my husband, but God carried me through it. There was no need for me to get flustered, I let the Lord do the talking.
My husband has been very distant this weekend and pretty much ignoring me. But it's funny that it doesn't even bother me that much anymore! However, I'm afraid that maybe I have too great of expectations for our marriage... I really believe that things will work out & we will be able to restore our love. On the other hand, should I be setting my expectations so high? In the end, I remind myself that I trust the Lord & I am here to serve Him & do His will, not mine. Whatever He brings my way, I need to accept.
First, don't apologize for upsetting him with your request. Actually praise God that he did get so upset. That is called conviction!
Second, Never think of defenses when it comes to opening the door to Christ. Just be humble in your answers. Defenses turn into cons... And there is no con when it comes to the Lord.
Do not be afraid of having expectations of how your marriage will turn out. Christ is Hope.... But as you are starting to experience, as you grow with Christ, you will have less and less concern about outcomes knowing that no matter what happens Christ will fill any void you have. With that said..... Be careful that you put nothing before God with your expectations.
I don't think of defenses toward God- in the past I would play through in my head how I thought the conversation/dare would go. I tried to think of all the possible rebuttles my husband would have & tried to have a defense prepared for them. Most of the time, though- I got too nervous & would forget half or all of it! And once the conversation stopped going how I pictured it, I would get flustered. Last night though, I didn't do any of this. I didn't think of defenses against my husband rebuttles- and if I started thinking about how the conversation might go- I stopped myself ans just prayed for courage and wisdom. Thats why as hard as last nights dare was- I went in positive & trusted that God would fill me with the words to say. It was MUCH better that way!
As far as expectations go, I believe it is Gods intention/will for marriages to last a lifetime- ESP. marriages that were joined through Him. In that respect, I believe that He has called me to do everything possible to make this marriage last a lifetime. I also believe that all of this is happening for a reason. My mom allways told me that she thinks my sisters & I were all married to our husbands to be an example of God to them, because even though they were "catholic" they nor thier families didn't practice. I didn't think much of It before, but now I wonder if she has a point?
Just to add, since last night my husband is avoiding and ignoring me even more. I'm just letting him be, praying & praying for him- it's all I can do anymore!
That is all you can do. You need to leave him to Christ and allow Christ to work on him.
You need to focus on your journey and allow Christ to mold you to be a testimony...