One week to go. Things are as they are.
I asked her today if she would pray with me. She had scoffed at me the first time I asked her this, so I didn't have high hopes for this time. But I didn't want to say no for her. So I asked. She said she thought it was weird. I said maybe but would she consider it. She said she couldn't. I said fair enough, I just wanted to ask and told her thanks for having us over for dessert and told her to have a good evening.
I then read from Romans, which is really one of my favorite books. I don't want to think of K as my enemy, but the scriptures on how to treat your enemies and how to handle those how hurt you I find more applicable to how to handle her than the scriptures on love right now. I prayed. Then watched a movie with the kids.
This will run its course. I have put it in God's hands and I am not going to start doing things my own way now. She made a comment yesterday that if there was to be anything between us it would be in the future and that she was not going to stop the divorce. I thought that was weird. I told her what I have for this entire time. That I'm not in support of this divorce and I would like an opportunity to show her who I have become and show up and see what God has in mind for us.
I don't know if anything will change. But I'm at peace in this moment. I have prayed, I have read from the bible and I have accepted in this moment that he has this under control, even if the result is not the saving of my marriage. There is still a week left. That is not too short a time for God to work a miracle if that is what he has in mind.
God is never late. He is good and I can trust him.
Her not wanting to pray is a flat out rejection of Christ. It being weird is a conviction that she does not know how to accept.
Let Him work... He is still at it. No doubt.