A thought entered my mind as I read through this dare again. Is this asking that ONLY you and your spouce pray together, or would family prayer time be OK, too? I ask because my kids and I pray together every night. My husband would occationally join us when he was living here, but it was never consistant. ANyway- I'm just wondering, if he does come back, if praying with the kids as a family would be a good thing? A good example?
I had to pay for my sons preschool today & later had to take them to get their hair cut. SO I went to check our balnace in the checking account online & it wouldn't let me sign in. it looks as though my husband either changed the password or the username. In anycase, I felt that panic & anger building up... not nearly as bad as before, but it was there. I did NOT call/text/email him. I went downstairs to call the bank, and before I did I just prayed. I called the bank & was able to set up my own online banking account since I'm still on the account. Boom, a solution. This is what has been a big downfall for me. An unexpected event occurs & I automatically start to panic. I don't care why he changed the info, I don't care where he is spending the money, I just want to know that I can pay for the things my kids need. So instead of letting that panic overcome me, I prayed. What a difference. I don't need to have his login/password- I have my own. I never created my own login becasue there was no need to before... but I guess this just goes to show you that there's always a way when you trust in God. SO I checked the account, we had enough money in there & I was able to pay the bills. YAY!
I faught with myself again about trying to make my husband jealous. He was out of town on for a meeting today & told me the other night that he wasn't sure what time he was going to be by to pick up the kids. He asked if I had plans & i told him i did but if he needed me to hang out wth the kids for a little while then I would adjust those plans. I do accually have plans, i wasn't lying! But they are with my friend and I know she is flexible :) Anyway, part of me wanted to make him seem like I was doing more than hanging out with a friend... but I didn't. I couldn't. I realize that is just me trying to control the situation & it wouldn't do me any good.
I get disappointed in myself when i think that way. I feel like I am failing, though I know that all these trials are important. I am constantly praying for the strength to fight the temptations that are thrown my way. I know it all has a reason...
Praying with family is important. A family that prays together stays together! So until your husband comes back, keep praying with your kids. And when he does come back, then pray as a family. But remember it is always good to have your own time to pray.
Those thoughts you fight with are a war with the flesh. And that is OK. You see how easy it is to triumph over them by setting your sites on Christ.