met a lawyer to sign a power of attorney so I can handle paper work
for the house sale (her wish). Something happened that got me really
upset during the meeting. She asked the lawyer whether this changes
the ownership name and the lawyer said with the POA I could change
the ownership name if I wanted (I was like – really?). Anyhow,
long story short – she was worry that I would take her half of the
house and said her “friends” called her crazy for signing POA.
Basically, she does not trust me and I was truly hurt because it was
an attack on my character and integrity. We had a timeout chat
without the lawyer and after telling her that I cannot explain trust
and integrity to you, she said okay and we signed the POA. Before we
left I gave her a small illustration card that simply says “God is
in control”. She gave me the same one and I kept it in my wallet
for as many years as I knew her. She thanked me about it.
She sent me an
email afterwards to apologize saying she didn't mean to hesitate
signing and said she was under influence by not-so-good advice from
“other people” who do care about her. I replied saying apology
accepted, and that I won't use guilt to hold her hostage anymore - it
was my way to control and manipulate ... but I did not realize I was
holding myself hostage too. I told her that I trust God with her and
pray that she will be molded by Him, not by the world. She said
thank you for the small card and said “God is definitely in
control.” I truly pray that she is indeed starting to find God but
with so many thorns around her every day it is so easy to fall into
the world. Is this God's plan also to put her into the world so she
could learn His lessons for her that way? It made me realize how
Satan and his army are so strong in the world and she is right in the
midst of it.
After I have
had some time to think about what happened, I think this was another
lesson from God to remind me of my old ways versus what is God's way.
I used to give her silence treatment after she did something wrong
and eventually she would be the one that make amends. Sometimes it
was actually my fault but somehow she would feel guilty about it so I
took advantage of the situation. It was my way to gain control and
manipulate our relationship. That is so far from God's true love.
She said I
could still send her emails while she's at conference in Europe. I'm
not sure if that is in the context of business things about the house
sale or other personal notes. I'll wait patiently for His
Today's dare –
Would definitely integrate prayer life into everything that I do in
our marriage. Prayer works.
Great progress. And with the people around her, they are probably telling her what a mistake she has made. And now it is time for you to be a testimony to all. By not holding that over her head and doing the right thing, not only is that a testimony to her, but to all around her.