We met a lawyer to sign a power of attorney so I can handle paper work for the house sale (her wish). Something happened that got me really upset during the meeting. She asked the lawyer whether this changes the ownership name and the lawyer said with the POA I could change the ownership name if I wanted (I was like – really?). Anyhow, long story short – she was worry that I would take her half of the house and said her “friends” called her crazy for signing POA. Basically, she does not trust me and I was truly hurt because it was an attack on my character and integrity. We had a timeout chat without the lawyer and after telling her that I cannot explain trust and integrity to you, she said okay and we signed the POA. Before we left I gave her a small illustration card that simply says “God is in control”. She gave me the same one and I kept it in my wallet for as many years as I knew her. She thanked me about it.
She sent me an email afterwards to apologize saying she didn't mean to hesitate signing and said she was under influence by not-so-good advice from “other people” who do care about her. I replied saying apology accepted, and that I won't use guilt to hold her hostage anymore - it was my way to control and manipulate ... but I did not realize I was holding myself hostage too. I told her that I trust God with her and pray that she will be molded by Him, not by the world. She said thank you for the small card and said “God is definitely in control.” I truly pray that she is indeed starting to find God but with so many thorns around her every day it is so easy to fall into the world. Is this God's plan also to put her into the world so she could learn His lessons for her that way? It made me realize how Satan and his army are so strong in the world and she is right in the midst of it.
After I have had some time to think about what happened, I think this was another lesson from God to remind me of my old ways versus what is God's way. I used to give her silence treatment after she did something wrong and eventually she would be the one that make amends. Sometimes it was actually my fault but somehow she would feel guilty about it so I took advantage of the situation. It was my way to gain control and manipulate our relationship. That is so far from God's true love.
She said I could still send her emails while she's at conference in Europe. I'm not sure if that is in the context of business things about the house sale or other personal notes. I'll wait patiently for His instructions.
Today's dare – Would definitely integrate prayer life into everything that I do in our marriage. Prayer works.
Great progress. And with the people around her, they are probably telling her what a mistake she has made. And now it is time for you to be a testimony to all. By not holding that over her head and doing the right thing, not only is that a testimony to her, but to all around her.