today was our Anniversary. I did everything I normally do, made a card, bought a small gift, let her sleep in and had breakfast ready. I received nothing in return, not even acknowledgement of this day.
thank you to all who have provided support, but this is just too much pain to bear any longer.
I was baking cookies today with my sisters and for the first time in a long time I opened up to them about what is really going on with my husband and i. One thing they kept asking me was how long I am willing to "put up" with my husbands behavior... I said indefinately. I don't just love him for who he was 10 years ago when we met, or 6 years ago when we were married or 2 years ago when we found our baby #3 is on the way... I love him even though he is sleeping on the couch, making plans to move & leaving me with the kids every weekend so he can have fun. I have taken the time to embrace my life as the best gift ever, and for real this time. It has not been an easy journey & it is not painless... but take comfort in knowing that Christ will comfort you. I am not an expert at anything having to do with relationships or marriage, but I feel like love is always worth fighting for.
I'm 3/4 of the way through the dares round 2...and it has taken me a looooong time to come to this true peace. And I have many days when I relapse for an hour or two or even the day...but you are human, mistakes will be made and you have to trust that God will forgive you and continue to love and comfort you.
With that said, I have also truly let my husband go. We have to see each other every day because he lives here, but we rarely talk unless he speaks to me first or unless its about our kids. It's unfortunate & really hard to do... but it helps me to not focus on him becasue I am forced to keep myself busy.
I guess I'm saying, let her go if you have to... but continue on your journey with God because He will bring you comfort. Don't lose hope, anything is possible with God!
I've probably stolen this from one of the millions of post i've read on here, but I'll share it anyway because it reassures me:
"When we deserve to be loved the least, is when we need it the most"
Forever is right. In fact if you go back and look at posts she has made, she as well had such a hard time. But with her growth in Christ, Now she is a completely new person. It is her trust in Christ that gives her the comfort to get through each day. And even though her husband gives not much in return, she has been molded by Christ to love UNCONDITIONALLY...
That is such a hard word to understand. In fact, I would be willing to bet you believe still that you love your wife unconditionally. But you are actually putting conditions on your love with her.
Do what is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord, and He will bless the desires of your heart. In fact just the other day I wrote a long journal about the misconception of our desires.
Chad, there is no doubt that what you're going through is hard and painful. Your post has caused me to look back at my personal experiences where I have felt similar feelings and I just have had to remind myself that Jesus has not given up on me. Sometimes that's the only thing that keeps me going. Praying for you brother.
I got the following encouragements below which I'm sharing with you in the hope that it'll help you as it did me:
Whenever you are tempted to doubt in his goodness, remember these three essential truths about the Lord:
1. He is completely Sovereign (Psalm 103:36)- God has everything in his control even when we can't perceived it.
2. He is infinitely wise (Romans 11:33-36) - The lord knows every side of the situation (inside and out) and every event (past, present, future).
3. He loves perfectly (Exodus 34:6) - Without exception, He always choose what is best for us, even if it's not easy.
I've come to realize much of what was posted above. Thank you all for your support.