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Re: Day thirtysix

Day thirtysix

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  • I have never before been a big reader of the Bible. I liked the stories as a child, of Noah, and Jonah among others. But actually reading it daily has been a recent thing for me. I used to open it up randomly and read a phrase and apply that to whatever troubles I had that brought me to the Bible in the first place. I would only read from it to gain strength. Now I read it daily to gain understanding as well.

    Today I have felt so angry, and mostly just angry with myself. The reading I've been doing lately has a common theme of walking the fine line, being the righteous person. " For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,  but the way of the wicked will perish." and I think, I have not been a very righteous person. I have many faults and made many mistakes. I feel like I have been trying but I am failing. I still think about moving on without my hunny. I am not totally committed to keeping this relationship alive, and I think that by now in this journey I should be. I imagine that perhaps I was meant to fail. I used to think that I was meant to walk alone, and I would be fine with that. And yet, I cannot make any decision one way or another to stay or to go. So there is only one thing left for me to do. I have to give it all over to God and follow his lead, wherever it takes me.

  • You need to lead your heart back to your husband. With your focus on Christ, you will have no void, but do not mistake that for a reason not to need your husband.

    Christ says you become one. And that is an important part of serving Christ.

    And do not be angry with yourself. Realize it is a blessing now that you are listening and realizing.

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