Day 75—Love is still Accountable
“Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a
strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel
that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.
During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.”
I continue to see my
counselor on a biweekly basis now. God truly provided the connection I needed
even before I started this journey. Kind of hard to believe it has been four
months since I started going, but the timing was perfect (isn’t God’s always?).
I was definitely in a place of questioning whether to work on my marriage at
the time, so he started seeing me at that point to where I am now. Talk about a
mind blowing change.
Seeds of finding a
marriage couple to mentor my husband and I were planted a couple months ago
when speaking with a dear friend of mine. Her and her husband could not afford
counseling, so they found a couple to mentor them through church. It was then
planted again a few weeks ago when I was connected with another friend. After
rereading this chapter, I am that much more convinced that this would be
perfect for my husband and I. I was pretty positive he would not be open to a
marriage counselor. When he was younger, he did not have a good experience with
his family when they saw one nor did it go that great when he and I saw one in
the midst of our marriage blow up back in December.
I did not really
think much of the dare this morning beyond knowing I, at some point, would like
to find a mentor couple. I honestly, did not think for a second, that I would
be bringing it up to my husband. A big part of our conversation yesterday was
me emphasizing that I did not want to pressure him into anything. I expressed that
I have been trying hard these last few months for him not to feel as such. He
admitted that he never felt pressured except for when I dropped off the video
montage I had put together. I laughed. Of course, after he said that, he
admitted to liking it, which is ironic considering his reaction that day was him
adamantly telling me it did not change his mind about us getting a divorce.
Little did he know that that had nothing to do with the reason behind it—it was
all about showing my unconditional love for him. Anyways, as I was on my way
home from work singing along to my music, the thought hit me. God was telling
me that I was going to talk to my husband about it today. I knew we were not
going to be seeing each other this evening, so was not quite sure how this was
all going to unfold. I didn’t get home till about 800pm. Before calling my
husband I decided to take a bath and have a chat with God. I asked Him if he
was sure that he really wanted me to bring this up to my husband. I was a bit
nervous because I don’t want to overbear him right now. Sure enough, answer is
still yes. At that point I prayed for guidance and wisdom with the conversation.
I gave my husband a call. We chatted about our evenings for a little bit and
then I eased the conversation into the idea of whether he would be open to
seeing a mentor couple. I had to explain what it would be all about—an avenue
for us to start building our marriage on a strong foundation, accountability,
for “wind to be put in our sails and make our marriage even better.” He brought up right away that a couple like
this would typically come from a recommendation at church. He expressed his
concern about this due to his unbelief (his heart is still pretty hardened
towards Christ). I let him know I understand, but that I have no idea who the couple
is or when they would be introduced to us. I just wanted to see what his thoughts
were and if he would at least be open to the idea. He actually agreed—he said,
yes, he would be open to at least giving it a shot. Praise God! Now I pray for
whoever this couple is that I will recognize the reason for their entrance into
our lives. I know whoever God sends our way will be the perfect couple for both
my husband and I. I look forward to it!
Thats great. Your testimony is becoming so important right now. If his heart is still hardened to Christ it is your testimony that should get him to desire the happiness and glow that Christ blesses you with daily.