I am so grateful that my husband has agreed to go to counseling with me. We did go to counseling a couple years ago, at that time my husband was going through a time of depression and the focus was on working through that - not our marriage. Looking back I believe that our relationship never recovered from that time. Rather than really getting to the route of our problems we covered our problems up and tried to move on.
Not this time, I prayed for the Lord to guide me to the counselor He wanted us to work with. I pray now that the Lord will guide and direct both of us. There are hurts that need to be healed and there things that need to change in each of us individually. This will be a long process but I know God's will shall be done.
I also prayed about a personal mentor at least for myself. My husband is not willing to work together with another couple (the counseling is enough for him). I have a dear, sweet, special Christian friend that was married for 50+ years. Her husband has gone to be with the Lord but I feel very comfortable with her and have asked her to serve as a mentor to me. She is an amazing prayer warrior and I know that she will be a blessing to me in this process.
Christ has been trying all this time to open your eyes and your heart to Him. Now that you are taking this journey and when you realize that this journey is with Christ, you will find that the hurts and the changes only can come from Christ. When you focus on Him, He will fill those voids, the hurt will only be healed with forgiveness, which is only able to happen with Gods love in you....
This is the 3rd time I posted this but I think it fits.
1 Peter 3.1- Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives
What this means is "without the word" an unsaved husband can better be won to Christianity by seeing it work in his wife's godly life than by always hearing about it from her lips.
Your testimony through your actions are so important. Focus on Christ in your daily journey and as you grow with Christ, the more you will reflect Christ to him.