Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Round 2 - Day 75

Round 2 - Day 75

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    My husband and I started going to counseling a month before he told me he "wanted out." Even though my counselor is a, marriage counselor, he is so interested in my journey and marriage that he has chosen to still see me every week. I also asked the Pastor's wife or the church I attend, also the counselor at the school I work at, if she would be my mentor. My best friend is not marriage and 2 years younger than me, but she is a very wise young women and has a huge faith. We do a Bible study together weekly, and she is the person that I tell everything to. She is the one that really puts things back into perspective for me and helps keep me on track when I need it. Lastly, I have this website. Though I have had all these people in my life during this journey, I don't know if I have truly accepted and received the counsel. After reading the dare, I know that I have to start believing in what these people are telling me. God has put them in my life for a reason.

    After 2 days of being in Cleveland and not seeing or speaking with my husband and fighting this whole, I don't understand how I am showing my husband love if I don't see or speak to him thing, I may be starting to understand more. I don't think that I need to worry about how much love I am showing my husband. I think this journey is a lot "simpler" than what your brain allows you to believe. I'm in the, get out of the way and just focus on Christ mode. I'm actually at a point right now that I don't really care how much I see him or speak to him. Actually, I don't want to. It is throwing me off track. When I found out that my husband was moving in with me, I had all this hope that he wanted to reconcile and I think since that isn't happening, it threw me off track and I was more focused on him and not Christ. I'm back on track now though! Christ here I come. I'm running to you and I'm not looking back. I am on a CRAZY ride with you. Your in the drivers seat and I'm riding shotgun!!! Off to church

  • Melissa,

    Out of all those wonderful people you have, make sure that you have someone that is an accountability partner.

  • Well... Unfortunately, no one really understands this journey either. Whenever I speak to any of them about this, they think that it is great that I am focusing on my journey with Christ, and they all help and encourage me with that, but they all think that I need to be interacting and speaking to my husband more. I feel like you are telling me one thing, and they are all telling me another.

    For example, my counselor says that I need to start looking for signs. Little signs that he wants to work on things. You say, don't look for signs because that just causes confusion. Which I agree by the way.

    My counselor says that I need to start showing my husband how much I really love him. He says that If I don't show him or tell him then he will never know. He thinks that I need to ask my husband to try again. Right now though, all I feel like is working on my relationship with God. To be quite honest, I don't want to see or speak with him right now. I feel like the whole moving thing threw me off track because we were communicating a lot throughout the day and spending a lot of time together. I learned a lesson here though... just because I have more of my husband, doesn't mean less of God. That is what I did. I don't want this to happen again and I feel like Ive had a set back. Satan took advantage of this situation, He saw that I was weak, and pounced on it like I was His prey. I need to get right with God so this doesn't ever happen again. If it takes me not seeing or speaking to my husband other than the dares, so be it. All I want is Jesus because I'm done!!!

  • Melissa,

    First. These people are they of the world or of Christ? Second, this journey is not to forsake your husband. In fact, remember what first brought you to this journey.

    You should tell your husband you love him, you should take the communication to the next level if his acceptance is there.

    As for the signs. Again, signs are things that will cause you confusion, especially with someone that is of the world. Games are played. Now that does not mean if he is trying to show you he wants to work on things, to ignore it. Pray about it.

    God does not want you to forsake your marriage. He has put you together. Remember that.

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