5-31-10
Well I have a mentor online (thanks Sean) and at my church. Me and my wife have met with him (my Pastor) but he states until we are both ready to work on this relationship then there is nothing more he can do for us with it all being one sided.
I was asked to come down and help my wife's father pull more carpet and work on the house. He is up in his age so he doesn't need to be doing that so I went to help. Spent most of the day there with the in-laws and everyone got along great. This is my wifes night with the kids so she asked if we could all grill some burgers when we were done so I made sure there was hamburger laid out. Once we were done we all went to my house (in-laws and all) and sat down to a wonderful dinner. We tried to get the kids to pray before we ate but as they hesitated I took the reins and let. It was great to praise God in front of them as they have never seen that from me.
Once we were done and they left she started cleaning up the kitchen and I usually would go down stairs or out in the garage but instead I got both the kids baths taken and when I was done I started to grab my over night bag to leave and she said I could stay since it was already 8pm and she would sleep with my son. I said ok and after the kids were in bed I went in the basement to do my nightly studies and left her alone. When I was done I walked by her in the living room and said good night and she told me thanks for the work I done today. Instead of turning around to make more of the good moment I just said your welcome and walked on to the bedroom and went to sleep.
There is more work to be done and I am praying about if I should offer my help or not.
I already commented on this in your journal. I will repost it here so there is no confusion.
"First, I appreciate the compliment. Second, you are in a new place. I look back and see where you were and where you are now. WOW...
I have to point out that I do not agree with your pastor. If she was there, then she had some willingness. If not, she would have never showed up in the first place.
I am happy to see that the family is getting along from all angles. And you are showing tremendous growth with your relationship with Christ. "
I also have seen your response to that. And again, there is still something there with her because she showed up. Things are good with family. Again, Otty, you have come so far and your trust in Christ is getting you through so much. I remember the person on the phone that was not the person in what I am reading. I have to tell you, I am impressed. But that is the power of Christ.
You are now being a testimony for Christ to her. Keep it up.
A lot of the thanks goes to you. I don't need stuff sugar coated, I need it delivered to the point and I thank you for that.
I have come a long way but I have a lot longer road to travel. I do have a co-pilot right now and that is helping matters considerably. I still feel pain and hurt but he helps me deal with what is going on and gives me the comfort I need to stand tall and accept his will for my life today.
It's not what I want today.....it's what he wants for me today. Boy did that take a while to sink in......lol
I am sure it did. But the bottom line is, IT DID...
And it is your actions, your testimony that will be the changing point in people around you.