"Love rejoices most in the things that please God." I will be very happy if she decides to seek God again, but that is up to Him, not up to me. I can only pray and continue my journey with Christ while waiting for her and for His plan to be revealed.
I will praise the Lord forever for what He has done for me. Sometimes I just cannot understand how He loves me, even when I'm so far from what He wants me to do. Sometimes I would cry very hard, not because of the hurts my wife had caused but I'm just so overwhelmed by His grace and His mercy. Each time I think about the hurts I think of Him and then the sadness would immediately disappear.
Praise God. But one thing I must point out. Her seeking God is not up to Him. It is up to her. God will not change her will on that issue. She must make that choice. But I will tell you this, and I do not want to add any pressure to your life, it will be your testimony that will help her turn to Him.
You're right, and I know this too - God will not force her to come back to me. He gives us freedom of choice. I choose to love her and she can choose to reject and divorce. Thanks for the reminder.
Sometimes I get discouraged thinking how will I ever live up to His standards and be a testimony to anyone, when I still have so many selfish thoughts - I would say less than before I started this journey but still I catch myself constantly.
When you catch yourself, praise Him for giving you the love to do so. Pray for the guidance to continue on.
This is a journey, and the only way you will be at your destination is when you leave this world. So this 40 days is only going to give you a start. Then it is up to you to Seek, knock, ask.....