The brought to mind the following:
I decided to tell him , that is was from the Lord when spouse expressed a desire to rid his phone of all the music that was on it due to an unction in his heart.
I shared how the bible says in Psalms that He will put a new song in his mouth.
I also told him that the stand he took to tell his drinkinf freind that he did not want to drink as much any more and that he wanted his freind to ease on the drinking too, i told him that this was also of the Lord because the bible says that drunkiness leads to poverty.
I told him that the time he told the people at work that he prefers Sunday's off to go to church and one of thje co-workers over heard him and came over to say that they were not aware that he even went to church, of which he replied that he did. I pointed out to him that this was a him taking a stand to glorify God in the work place and that it would cause people at work to seek the Lord. that he was being a light to the people in the work place as the bible says we are to let the our light shine so that people may glorify God in heaven.
I thought that by tieing in all that I had said with scripture, he would no that he is on the right path and that the bible approves of his conduct.
I did not get a response from him in regards to this dare.
It was also a wake up call for me because God opened my eyes to see that I am so harsh and hard with Spouse when discusses the gospel. I speak to him like he already knows things, like how the bible says that the word is like milk then it become meat.
I am so hard on spouse yet with other people I am patient, and kind. There is a lady at work who is a new christian. everyday she shares with me and asks questions about God and I see that she is sincere in her journey and that I am seeing that I treat her with patience and kindness where as with spouse any mention of the word from him I start to rain down on him with heavy revelations adn thoughts that scare him off. Yet here at work with this lady and people that I meet during the day, I am understanding, I listen to what they say and encourage them to pursue God more and I remind them of God's love for them.... basically I am nice to them and mean to spouse.
I think its becuase in my mind I want him to be on the same level or more than me so that we can rapor about the Lord. Yet even another guy was telling me how he isnt in church now but he used to and that he knows about God.... all I said to him was that God wanted to show him more of Himself in his life and on and on but the key was I was nice.
It was an eye opener that I saw that I am not this way with spouse at all.
I think it is because of the things that I see him do and how he hurts me that the minute he wants to talk about God, i just use it as a sword , i am very matter of fact, I speak more than I listen and I am ducking and diving out of revelations of the word that it just scares him off.
Last night, as I said I was spending another night away from spouse to get some air and me time with the Lord. I spent it at my best freinds house and another choir member came to visit and he, not knowing anything about my life began to share stories of how there is no one that God can not save and that the manner in which God will save some one will be all for His Glory. He went on to say that trying to convince some one with all your strength is a waste of time. He said yes, we can speak to them about the gospel but it is the Lord that would work on the heart, in His own time.
I knew that this was confirmation for me.
I sat there and thought as soon as I get home tomorrow, I will just give spouse a big kiss and hug. But then I remembered what he had done that made me decide that I needed some space and time away on my own. I asked whethter this was a way of me excusing his conduct and how my emotions play on me to the point where I ignore all the warning signs and just head for what my flesh wants.
I do not know if it was the Lords love in me saying that I should love all of who spouse is right now, affairs lies and all knowing that one day it God will do what he has promised or whether it was just my own flesh feeling lonely and just wanting to ignore all the red flags and and say well as long as we can stay together i will have to accept all the hurt that comes so long as I can still say that I am his wife and he is my husband.
At the moment, I am moving with caution.
Right now you are seeking a relationship with Christ. And all your preaching to your husband is a manipulation, in hopes that he will see things your way and it will make him change. You must stop... Let Christ handle his conviction. Give control to Christ and leave your husband up to Him. Do your dares, nothing more nothing less. As they are intended and not your way. Trust Christ that the dares will be His will.
Thank you Sean straight to the point.
I have prayed to God that I let go and leave it all to him.
I reallly want that and at times I feel that I have but then like now, I just see that the manipulation resurfaces in another way.
I really want this to stop and I ask the Lord to assist me coz i do not want to be this way any more.
Each manipulation will be shown to you. Remember you are battling the flesh and Christ will show you each battle and how to win.