HELLO! This is very difficult for me to explain. I am a 31 years old woman and I have been raised in a conservative family in Christian faith. My parents have never spoken or talked about sexuality at all. They consider these things as bad thoughts.

 Ever since puberty, I was really aroused to see *** porn. I would secretly masturbate watching them. I always liked looking at pretty girls and their sex appeal. But at the same time, I have always had romantic feelings for guys. I had a lot of crushes on different guys and had sex with a guy at the age of 18. I was in that relationship for 3 years but he cheated on me.

 Now, I am in a very happy 5-year-old relationship with my colleague whom I love and I am very attracted to. But i keep watching videos of *** sex very often and I research about various bisexual dating websites also. While having sex with him, I imagine myself being with a woman. Sometimes, I feel so sad and guilty. Am I cheating my boyfriend by not telling him about my sexual desires? Any advice would really help me.