I know what drives my wife on this. She likes to feel special and beautiful. She likes to feel close to me. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. I think her attraction to me is there physically, but emotionally and spiritually, no. She loves romance. Music, candles, flowers. However one of the things my wife has kept constant throughout this whole time is she wants space and she's done(she no longer loves me, has emotion for me). When we first met there use to be a lot of passion and romance. But I lost sight of that. I realize now that she longed for that and needed that. Since I have found Christ I have an over-whelming/burning desire for my wife like I've never felt before.
Well I made myself available to her last night. She likes it when I get all cleaned up and shaven, so thats what I did. And it was apparent to her. However she was reading a romance novel, which I havent seen her do in a long time. Which was wired that she choose tonight to do it. I think it was called "50 Shades of Grey." What I didn't realize till now, was I could have offered to rub her feet or something of that nature while she was reading. Like I said, what I wanted to do was get the bedroom all set up in a romantic way. Flowers, music, candles, etc. But because our oldest had Scouts, and my wife was right there the whole time, it was unable to surprise her with that. Plus I think maybe that love for her that night might have looked more like a foot massage, or something along those lines. And if it lead to sexual intercourse then so be it. Wish I had thought about, realized this last night.
This is where you need to recognize that you need to commit to prayer before any dare. Seek out Christ to guide you.