Putting my husband second (God being first) in my life is not difficult for me. I have known since the day that we married that he needed to be top priority over every other human relationship. Not that I have been practicing that in the past, because I feel that I have put myself before him, and possibly my best girlfriend. I will continue to strive to put my marriage above all other human relationships.
I do believe that my husband has a “leaving” issue with his Mom. His Mom does not cause any problem in our marriage and she does not interfere at all, but I believe that my husband feels more comfortable talking to her or his sister than me. This is partially my doing because in the past I didn’t really listen and I was not very understanding. I would give advice when advice wasn’t wanted. I would judge and not continue to show love when he made mistakes.
A question for journaling asks, If the worse offender in this area is your spouse (with your in-laws), how can you lovingly move this toward a better situation? I’m not really sure about this one. My husband has to be the one that chooses to “leave.” I believe what I can do though is listen, be understanding, not judge, and just love even when my husband makes mistakes because that is what his Mom and sister are for him. They are strong women of faith and have always shown my husband unconditional love and understanding.
It is not too late for you to do the same. This journey will mold you to Christs image even more. With that, you will glow with Christs love. Maybe it is time for you to trust your husband as much as you want him to trust you. Maybe it is time for you to be a testimony and open up completely to him, to show him he is the only one to complete you here on this earth.
I know that you post the way that you do to get us thinking. I have been thinking about this post and praying about it since I read it yesterday. I have been praying for God to help guide me to trust my husband again. I have the mentality that I do not need to trust my husband, as long as I trust God that is all that matters. I do not go to my husband with my problems. I am very prideful in this area. I have always had the attitude that I don’t need or want other people to feel sorry for me. I can handle my own problems. I have been praying for God to remove this “defect”. I know that God designed my husband and me to be each other’s rock. After God your spouse should be the first one that you turn to for support, love, and guidance. I think I may be a little scared of this though. I have been leaning on God through this whole journey and working toward putting Him first in my life, that I’m afraid to allow my husband to comfort me. I’m afraid that I will start to lean on him and not God. I know 100% that is not what I want and I will do whatever it takes to keep God first in my life, so I do believe that it is time for me to start showing my husband that he is the only one that can complete me on this Earth. I had counseling yesterday and it was kind of a wake-up call to me. I realized that though I have been choosing to love my husband and completing the dares, I have not been truly showing him how much love I have for him. I love him more today than I have ever and every day my love grows more and more for him. I believe that it is time to let the wall down, trust in God and His plan for me, and start showing my husband a love for him that I have never shown him before. I’m not exactly sure how to do it, so I will keep praying for guidance for this.
When you have this type of confusion about things. Remember God is not the author of confusion...
You are to leave your mother and father and cling to your husband....
You are to be one with your husband. And it is not fair to him or you that you do not share with him you deepest feelings, hurts, hang-ups etc... Your oneness is effect by them all.
What ever effects you, effects him as well. No matter how well you hide it. That is why God has made marriage such a complete oneness.
With that said, to love God is to love your husband as God intended. You are trusting God by doing these things. Dont fear loving your husband more than God. Because you cannot love your husband better without loving God!