As stated in day 30, I am away from home at the moment but the notes in this dare came at the right time.
After praying, i used the teachings in the dare a prayer points for the marriage.
It was humbling and I realised that I too had been giving off a version of marriage that was not Gods design.
Both our parents are not hard pressed on our marriage. Spouses Mom does what she can to help when ever and my parents just support what I want to do, even though they give advice.
The leaving part for me was ato leave all the dreams, hopes and plans that I had envisioned for my marriage.
Even the belief that spouse is called to ministry, of he is, then that is on God and God alone.
I have no right to infringe upon God's glory concerning that calling..... that's of there is a calling to start with.
I had to come to the end of myself to see that I have had it all wrong and that truly spouse is a tool that the Lord is using for me to get closer to Him.
I just got a message from spouse telling me that he "hopes i had fun after not comming home last nite".
I wont bother and respond or it will just start a text war that I have so famously introduced in my marriage it stinks!
I dont know what to expect when I get home, all I know is that I did not want to leave the hotel because I was so happy and so free.
I felt like a little girl again, innocent and free.
I asked the Lord to restore my youth and to heal both spouse and I physicaly.
I realise that there is achance that the marriage will end and that would be fine because God is in it.
I realise that the marriage could make it and that would be ok too because God is in it.
I really do want the God kind of marriage, I am just not going to hold the Lord at ransom for it anymore.
I guess I say that because of the one-sidedness of the marriahe right now.
I really do not understand all the mystery of Gods workings in my life, but its ok .
Seek the oneness with Christ, and with your husband,