My family is an issue, but I have already taken the steps from letting them "guilt" me into doing things their way. My husband and I have always had a problem with at least one memeber of my family for as long as I can remember. We've overcome a lot when it comes to my family...before we were even engaged my parents gave me an ultimatum- him or us- and I chose him. I told them I'd always choose him over them, not becasue I didn't love them, but becasue I love him that much. Knowing what I know now & how things are between us now, I would choose to do it all over again. Every piece of my time with my husband has played a role in who I am today. Now, I see how important these things are but I also see the value of not only unity with my husband, but unity with God, individually & also as husband and wife.
I am definately at war with myself. I am praying for the strength & wisdom to do the right thing always. I notice when I pray & read the bible I can feel this sense of calm come over me... I want that feeling always & I know that must mean I nee to pray even more, especially when it gets tough.
My husband picked up the kids today for their weekend with him. I did things a bit different today. I had everything ready & the kids were ready so when he came there wouldn't be much time for chit chat. He came & I explained to him our sons new homework & that all the kids are coughing so please remember to give them medicine before bed. That was the extent of talking I did. He didn't really say anything either...I gave the kids hugs & kisses & I watched them go with my husband. I didn't pack up the car or buckle up the kids in their carseats as I would in the past- I let him do it. I didn't even walk out to his truck with them. I am still trying to figure out my feelings about it all. I don't know why I did it... I wasn't mean or angry, I just wasn't indulging in any small talk with him...
I've been reading the book of wisdom, seems fitting for me right about now. I could sure use some wisdom... I continue to pray & trust in God & I am trying to add more time into my days for Him.
Just to update, I am feeling better & more positive again. I am beginning to focus on the good again & it's helping a lot. I've been praying a lot tonite. It's weird how much easier it is to find time for God when I don't have 3 little kids running & screaming around the place. But as much as I joke about the quiet when they're with my husband, I miss them like crazy! I'm trusting God & know somehow things will work out :)
God will always give you the opportunity for you to have margin in your life for Him. Take advantage of it.
Prayers can do much for you. Especially when you are seeking Him out. Not just asking. But truly seeking His will.
And just in your posts it shows that is coming more clear to you. The blessings will be great.