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Day 30: perseverance

Day 30: perseverance

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  • The area of division I prayed about was the affair.  I think what's in my heart that threatens oneness is hurt, anger, betrayal, sadness, heartbreak, hopelessness, and a host of other negative feelings.   I prayed for GOD to take that division away or at least melt it or do something with it.  I prayed GOD would reveal to my husband what's in his heart that is threatening our oneness.   I didn't feel I could do any discussion because I didn't trust that I could do it calmly and we were on our way to a concert and I just really wanted to enjoy the evening.   It was an amazing concert....we saw Josh Groban and I felt like his songs were really speaking to me.   It was challenging at times because I kept having flashbacks and negative thoughts but I persevered and prayed to GOD and told him to please take it away.  Overall it was a lovely evening and I'm so blessed to have gotten some joy and happiness tonight.  There hasn't been too much of that around this year.

    A couple was brought on stage who has been married 16 years and Josh asked them what the secret was and they replied "God is at the center"!!  I nodded my head and applauded with the audience.  What a beautiful testimony.   I thanked my husband for going with me and he said it was a lovely evening.   I left feeling warmth and love in my heart.  I thank GOD I was given some peace and joy this evening and was able to share it with my husband.

     

     

  • Be careful of that pray for your husband. Make sure it is for him and not you. That could be selfish. In other words you pray thinking if he knows his heart it will come back to you.

    Right now pray for his salvation in Christ and Christs will in his life.

  • Thanks for the caution.  I think I've gotten to a point where I do pray for GOD to fill my husbands needs. Whatever they may be.  I know what some of them are and I don't impose what I thin GOD should do or not do cuz I know that's not right or pure.  I think if anything I am good at praying for others who have hurt me.  It helps me release it and let the hurt go.  I think with this situation it has been so difficult because of the level of hurt and betrayal I feel.  I have always prayed for him and will continue to because I love him.   I have definitely been praying for his salvation and for Christ's will in hi life.  I think I pray for his heart because i know he is hurting too.  We both are.  We both need GOD to soften our hearts so we can stop trying to destroy each other with all this evilness.  I know he's broken and I pray GOD will help him and support him and love him.  I have an incredible support system and I have GOD.  He has no one really.  I feel sad about that.  I wish I could help him and support him but he does not feel safe with me not to go off on him.  Like you said I have to be the testimony for him to see.  

  • It will get there. It took all this time of you being together to get to where you are. Now God is showing you how to change that. it will take a little time with your husband to trust it...

    But remember this. God is NEVER late!

  • I'm holding on to that Sean......GOD will always answer my prayers.  Yes. No. NOT right now.  Whatever it is I will wait patiently and trust him because he knows what is best!

  • God's plan is always perfect. But at times we do get in the way. Although the outcome is blessed, sometimes we make it more difficult.

  • I'm trying to stay focused on this.  TRUST GOD.  LOVE GOD.  HAVE FAITH in his PERFECT PLAN for me.  

  • It will come.... That is why this part of your journey is the "molding" process.

    And Christ will not stop working in your life until His work is done! And that is when we are called home!

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