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Re: Day 70 – Love brings unity

Day 70 – Love brings unity

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  • Just like the first time I did Dare 30, it seems the one area of division in our marriage is lack intimacy.  Because of this, it follows that there is also lack of communication.  No intimacy and communication.   My wife had built a wall around her which I could hardly  penetrate.  Communication is almost  nil.  Whenever we talk, it always  end with recounting my past transgressions and talking about the impending divorce.  She always go there.

    She left  for LA  last  Saturday to visit one of her high-school  classmates (who is also divorced, unfortunately).  She was leaving very early in the morning (6am)  and our  oldest  son is bringing her to the airport.   I could hear them outside my room preparing to leave but I didn’t  get up.  I know that what she wanted anyway.  I didn’t expect her to say anything to me, but before they left she open the door to  my room and said she’s leaving.  I answered her to have a good trip.  

    I would have included events  in my previous journal but the Dare site was out of commission the whole of Saturday up to Sunday afternoon.   On the other hand, since this Dare has to do with unity in which  intimacy and communication are a very important  part, then maybe this is where it should really be.

    I got an un-expected call from her that Saturday afternoon when she got to LA.  She even told me that it is really nice in there (it’s her first time)  and that maybe I should also go there some time.   I said yes  I love to  someday.  She told me that they are going to Las Vegas the following day to visit another of their  classmates who is residing there.

    The following  Sunday,  I got another  un-expected call from her  from  Las Vegas.  She told me that they we’re having lunch with their classmate.  I just told her to have a good time, and if she can, to win a million.  That brought a chuckle from her.

    My youngest son and I were on our way to school this (Monday) morning when she called again.  Since I was driving, I gave the phone to my son.  I wasn’t able to talk to her, but  my son said  she called to ask  if everything ok.

    First time that she called me 3 days in a row.  No much conversation, though.  Just one or two-liners.

    On my part, there’s always this  thought of just  running away from it all, just leave and go to a place far  far away.   Not good thoughts I would say,  caused by frustrations on what’s happening to my marriage.  But I know  that I won’t be running away because God is with me.  I have casted my burden to the Lord and I know he shall sustain me.

    I read the divorce papers for the first time and found out that I have to acknowledge within 30 days. I’ll wait for her to come back on  Thursday then I will acknowledge.      

     

  • I think after reading this you may have it backwards. The lack of communication turns into the lack of intimacy. And 3 times she has called.... Opportunity. In which you through it out the window.

    Why when she called did you not be a friend and ask how the flight was? When in vegas ask where they were having lunch? Or even ask if she would like for you to go online and look for any deals on things to do out there. Or take initiative on your own, knowing things she would like and find out some things for her. If she like to go to go to shows find one she would like, and see if you can get a deal on it.... Start taking initiative in pleasing her, serving her. As in the summary leading up to the dare on day 30... "Both Christ and the Church love and honor the other.

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