March 3rd, my husband randomly asked for a divorce. It was completely out of the blue and I there were no signs it was coming. He told me he had been dealing with the thought of divorce for two years, but had tried to make it work. However, in those two years, he never said one thing to me about it. He always played the happy, funny, care-free husband even though he was contemplating divorce. He then told me that he loved me, but not as a husband should love a wife, and that the passion he once felt in our marriage was gone. I am devastated and completely heart broken. When I try to talk to him about things, I feel like he puts up a wall to stop me from getting close. He keeps distancing himself farther and farther from me, and I'm struggling because I just want to be near him.
Since he asked for a divorce, he has already filed the paper-work for the divorce and I feel like its going way too fast. I haven't even had the time to process and he is already moving ahead. I love my husband with all my heart, and I can honestly say, I don't want a divorce. I want to try and make it work since divorce is such an extreme measure. Marriage isn't a walk in the park, and it takes two to make it work. I feel like there has been some major communication problems in our marriage and I know we are both to blame. Somewhere along the line, we just stopped communicating and we lost that special connection. Somewhere along the line, we lost sight of what brought us together.
So, I bought Fire Proof and the Love Dare. I know that all things happen for a reason and that God will guide me through whatever outcome happens in the end. I'm only on day 3, but I've learned things I've never thought about before. Its like learning all over again about the love God planned for us; rediscovering love in a sense. It's been hard because my husband is trying to spend more time away from me rather than with me. So my dares seemed to be spaced apart unevenly. However, I'm asking God to bless me and this process. I continue to ask God for strength, guidance, mercy and his love. I know that no one, but God, can move a man's heart. So I'm praying that God will slowly open my husband's eyes and break down his walls. I want to show my husband how much a I love him, and how much our marriage actually means to me. I want to show him that our marriage is worth fighting for and show him God's original plan for marriage.
WElcome. this will be a journey, between you and Christ, not you and your husband. He will be used as a tool to mold you. Do a dare a day, no more, no less. If you truly cant' do a dare one day, then the next day still go on to the next. Do the dares as intended, without manipulating them. Do not read ahead in the book, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.
Do not look for reactions from him when doing the dares. He needs his space right now, so doing just a dare a day, no more, will give him the space and keep you from trying to control the situation vs giving control to God.
Things may get worse before it gets better, but this is fine, it will serve purpose.
He will put a wall up to give him space and to try to prove to himself he made the right decision. Let Christ, not you work on his wall he put up.
Try posting in the Love Journal section, under the Community tab if you can next time. You will get other responses from others there. This section isn't read often. but I will do my best to check back here for you. Let me know if you have trouble finding how to journal.