Last night I was on the verge of giving up already. My friend had told me she seen my husband out at the movies with another woman, someone who I didn't expect he'd be with as I thought he was seeing his ex-girlfriend, so I was very upset that he was with someone "new". I cried alot last night and asked for strength, but I didn't see how I would go through with todays dare as I was so angry at him and didn't want him to think otherwise. I did confront him about it via text message and he said he didn't know what I was talking about, I didn't respond.
I decided I would still go through with the dare today as I didn't want to take control I wanted to trust in god that he would make things right as long as I did what he asks of me. I bought my husband a really cute card that made me tear up in the store when reading, about all the ways I miss him, one way specifically said "I miss you when I'm sitting on the couch next to nothing but air", which is how I feel every single night. I also bought him lindor chocolates because at Christmas time is when I usually buy them and he always empties out the candy dishes when they're in them because he loves them so much and we'd always laugh at how much I had to fill the dishes back up. I wasn't sure how I was going to give him the card and chocolates as he wasn't coming over today and he has the car so I'm stranded. I was thinking of a possible way and I decided to put the card and chocolates in a plain brown box like something you would recieve in the mail, and I told him a "package" came here for him and I'd leave it in my mailbox for him. He said thanks. I didn't know if he would come pick it up today but he did. He came and got the package and left, and I haven't heard from him at all. I wasn't expecting a thank you or a that was nice or anything though.
I'm glad I went through with the dare and did not skip it or wait for another day when I wasn't mad at him. Last time I did these dares I held off on doing dares so often because I was mad at him alot and it took me much longer to do the dares then it should have. I will do each dare the best I can everyday, I will find ways to do them when it seems impossible and I will not try and take control of them either, like I was going to do last night and not even do it.
That is the difference between unconditional love and just love. We should never love based on the condition of the moment. That is when you are able to lead your heart and not follow it.
These are the kinds of situations that you need to look at and praise God for. Do you realize how much you have been humbled because of this what you thought was such a bad thing?
I Know it sounds weird saying to praise God that you found out about a new person. But, during this journey... It is you and Christ. That is where you heart needs to be, that is who you need to depend on. He is molding you and will change your life!