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Re: Day 3 and still no good

Day 3 and still no good

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  • I’m on my day 3 and My wife still don’t talk to me. I know she told me that the feelings is gone anymore. But I know I should also at least try to get her feelings back for me. This past 3 days been frustrating but I’m still hopeful. Day 3 I texted her to pick her up from work since I come home early and offered to go to dinner or starbucks just to talk a little. She said she’s sleeping early coz she’s been studying for her DPT. Monday is usually her rest day. So, I asked her if she needs anything? But she said she good. On my day 1 and day 2 dare, she never answered my texts. But at least on day 3 she text back, although declining my offers. I still make breakfast for her and she does eat it. Day 2 gave her flowers, wasn’t thrown out but she just read the card but put it back on the table. It’s frustrating to see her just look at the flower and you could see no excitement on her reactions. It’s really hard to connect to her when she doesn’t even want to talk to me. I give her notes every morning and text her when I go to work and arrive home. I still get no reply but atleast I know she reads it. She usually dont read it ever since we fought last week. She still don’t sleep on our bed coz her reason she study and she can’t concentrate when she study in our room. Tomorrow hopefully she brings and eat the lunch I will make for her. This dares are easy but it’s so hard to get my wife to appreciate my efforts. 

  • Welcome,  We all come here to try to fix our marriage.  But, you will find out this is a journey between you and Christ not you and her.  She will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  Such as don't do all the texting you are doing.  This just gets in her space and pushes her back away from you.  Do the dares as intended without changing them to make them easier.  

    And have no expectations from her when doing the dares.  in fact, things may get worse before it gets better.  But this has purpose.

    Things didn't get to this point overnight and it will take time, much more than a few days.  Do not read ahead in the book, except the appendix, especially about leading the heart.

    See the movie by yourself if you haven't.  Try to post next time under the community tab, under that tab is the Love Dare Journal link.  MOre people read that section.  IF you can't find that section, let me know here.  

  • The movie really hit me. I could see myself on the movie. My only hope is that I hope my wife will one day be enligthened about my love and our marriage. I’m not rushing for any result. I can wait even if It will take me til day 40. If ever, she really can’t be convinced to come back to me. At least she will know that I never quit and my relationship with GOD improved. I know I lost my way from GOD and because of what happened between my wife made me realize that I have to find my way again. I’m not giving up yet. I will continue to make her love me again.

  • Where you say you will make her love you again.  That's just it, you can't  make her love you again.  But you can continue to grow in Christ and find comfort in him verses trying to find comfort in Christ.  And as you grow in Christ, she will see your changes.  And this will open the door more fully for Jesus to work in her.  And that is when she may choose to use her free will to also grow in Christ and come back to you.

    Plan on taking much more than 40 days.  God can change things in the next minute, but it typically takes a lot of time.  

  • Yes, I’m not only doing something to get my wife back but also get back to my faith too. I have been lost for awhile and last saturday was my first time in church for years. Ever since she told me she doesn’t have that feelings for me. I called my siblings and asked what to do. All of them just told me “pray”. So I did. Praying does help me a lot. Helps me calm down. I as able to do day 1,2 & 3 without any negative reaction by me coz I just pray when I get upset/frustrated that despite all my effort she didn’t mind it. This dare even after day 3 made me realize that I’m not only improving myself for her but also for myself through my faith in God.

  • Glad you are going to prayer and seeing the results.  Look at this just as a journey between you and Christ, not you and your wife, and you will be happy you did.  Just ask in the community section and you will see.  Try journalling there, you are more likely to get responses from others and not just me.

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