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Re: Day 3 struggles

Day 3 struggles

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  • Me and my wife have been together for 3 years and we have been married for 1 1/2 years. We have had our struggles and I've made my mistakes in the past and everytime we use to get into a fight she would say she's leaving and id have to calm her down and work things out. I'm a very good husband, I do the cooking most nights and then she helps do dishes afterwards. I stay home with our 4 year old daughter on weekends so she can go out with her friends.... I'm not much for going to bars and clubs to dance, I think it's a disaster waiting to happen. Anyways at the end of March she went to Oklahoma to see some old friends and when she got back she told me she didn't want to be married anymore and she didn't want to get a divorce but she wanted to seperated so we did and we have been seperated for a month now and my wife's sister actually told me to try this love dare and see if it would work....


    Day 1 was easy for me because I don't say mean or negative things to my wife because I still love her. Day 2 got a little harder because I already do so much for her and my daughter but I got to thinking and I decided I'd go to the grocery store and take them out to eat for dinner as the day 2 dare. Day 3 wasn't to bad because I already know something she needs so I went and bought her some tank tops she wears under her clothes everyday and I set it in our house on the counter with a note so she would see it when she got home. Surprisingly she actually said thank you to me which caught me completely off guard but then she said she couldn't wear them and told me to take them back.... where I'm struggling is when I do anything in my life I have it in my mind how I want things to go and there reaction to everything and when I don't get the reaction I'm expecting then it bugs me..... I've done 3 days and I know it's early but I'm not making the progress I was hoping to make and the way my wife acts toward me makes me just want to quit but then I remind myself of the movie and how he felt the same way early on in the dares and he doesn't get a break through till he's on day 43 and so I tell myself not to give up because it's early and you still have atleast 35 days left.... I feel like I'm putting my full attention to it and putting my heart into everyday.... I guess I just need that person in my life like his dad that doesn't let him quit and give up.

  • Welcome.  Next time try posting under the community tab, the link under it is the love dare journal section. that section gets read much more than this section of the site.  go to your name and click on it, in the upper right hand corner.  A red link should show up on the left hand side part way down.  Click on it and then the link that takes you to a new post.

    This will be a journey, between you and Christ not you and your wife.  She will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  This will give her the space she needs.  Do the dares as intended without manipulating them to make them easier.  

    Have no expectations from her when you do the dares.  In fact it will get worse before it gets better.  But that will serve purpose.

    Do not read ahead in the book other than the appendix especially about leading the heart.

    Trust God's timing, don't dwell on your desires of wanting this trial to end quickly.  it may, it may not.

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