Just when i think i have things under control, the devil will try and take over. The dares where going so well and then he decides that he is going to drink and come home in a terrible mood and start an argument. The problem is that when i keep quiet to avoid the argument, he takes it as being stubborn and so punches me in the face (litterally) to teach me a lesson. My son screaming on the one side and the hepler running on the other side. Is all this even worth it?? The more i try, the worse he behaves... he has had 2 lung operations in the past 3 years and when i said to him that he needs to pray and ask God for patience and kindess.. his response was "f.. ck God" my heart was so sore... i have told him so many times that he is selfish but i never thought that he was this bad... to not even be at least grateful for 2 chances given to him to fix his life. God has blessed him, but he is too slefish to notice. A part of me wants to give up and give him what he deserves - to be alone and miserable and the other side wants me to stay and just give him all the love and prayer that he obviously needs... I know God can fix this... but how do i get him to understand..
The other things about talking to friends that you have come to know and love and trust, is that they are so judgemental and quick to judge and give negative comments. I have confided in a friend about what has been going on and i trusted her to just be there, to listen and be a shoulder.. but now the friendship has ended because i have decided to stay and try and make this work and she feels that he advise is the best and that i am making a mistake by trying and that he doesnt deserve this because of his infidelity...
So since nothing is going right... why should i even try?? Why should i even bother ?? Am i wasting my time???
Oh Lord.. please help me
Stop.... Take a moment and get yourself together. The Lord does things in many different ways. And people that are of the world and of the flesh WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND your ability to forgive. But do not worry about them right now. In time your testimony will be more than they can bare.
Now, problem number 1, is his total disregard for Christ. To curse the creator is something that you never can understand the consequences to. Nor should you be around that.
If there was infidelity then you have a right to leave. However you are blessed with a type of forgiveness that can only come from Christ.
Second thing is, the physical abuse. You need to leave. You need to leave now. This does not mean you have to divorce him at this moment. You need to worry about your Child and yourself.
When you leave, God will put a fear into this man, that I am sure will open his eyes. But that is not the solution. The solution will be your testimony to him over time, through Christ.
My suggestion is you leave and get somewhere safe. Do your dares each and everyday. Yes, you will have others that think you are wrong. But how can you go wrong walking in Christs ways?
Through your trust in Christ, things will heal. His heart will be convicted. And maybe, if he starts to see your testimony, God can bless him with Change.
Sometimes it takes the most severe things to bring you to your lowest point to open your heart to Christ.
We are here everyday to help. Please keep coming.
I know what your saying is right... people of the world will never understand. I watched my grandmother go through 50 years of marriage with my grandfather who argued sometimes and emotional abused her and every time i asked her how does she get through... she said it's God.
My friend wrote a blog about me yesterday... saying that i am weak and that i am just afraid of being alone and starting over. I had a place to move to, i had already paid the deposit and then i thought that i would give this one last try... i know what she says should not affect me but it does.
As for my husband... i used to tell him that God has the power to show him who's God... and i haven't stopped praying and believing that he will change. The only reason why i gave this a chance, was for our son... he is so attached to his father, but i guess that God will deal with him in his time and in his own way...
I will keep doing my dares and pray for strength ..
Please take Seans advice to leave very seriously. There is nothing obligating your to remain in a dangerous situation. if you need help making this happen please contact me through a private conversation on this site and I will do what I can to make sure you get to a safe place.
Again, you have people here that will help. Please take the steps and get yourself out before it gets worse.