My wife and I have been married for almost 9 years. During these 9 years I have been the sole person in charge of our finances. Not because I am controlling over them, but rather that my wife was just not interested in fooling with them. So, during these 9 years, I have been running up credit cards and spending money we didn't have. Eventually, the debt became too large to manage after I lost my job. About six months ago my wife suspected something was up and began asking about our debt, so... I lied. Not only did I lie, but I treated her like she was stupid for thinking we were in as bad financial shape as she thought. Well, she was right, but I wanted to hide it from her. We have been living with this truth out there for xis months. Now, she doesn't trust me and is hurt because of the way I treated her. I want to repair what I have done, so here I am - on day 3. My concern, though, is the money issue. I am so worried that I am going to spend money on her and she is only going to become stressed or because she will worry that I am falling back into my poor spending habits. I really want to do these dares right and really want to prove to my wife that I am a good man and that I really do love her.
Just from the first two days I have begun to realize that ignoring my selfish desires in the pursuit of my wife's needs creates an unexpected feeling of joy within me. Just following along these past days has focused my heart on what is so great about my wife. I just don't want to mess things up by causing her stress by buying her something. I think I need to think outside of the box. As I wrote in the book today - "an unselfish love will not lead you wrong."
I stressed about this one for the same reason - hubs watches the budget so tight and gets so stressed out that I was afraid to spend money. When I brought home the gift, he was surprised and then asked where I got the money to spend. I spent less than $20 and ultimately it didn't kill our budget.
Well, our marriage is in trouble because I was secretive about money, but did decide on a card. My wife loves to get cards, and I only spend $0.50. I realized that it is not so much the gift, but the thoughtfulness.
Money is an issue with us, but its in the reverse...I handle all the money and my husband has NO clue. Therefore, he is spending and not paying attention...I am the one who has to put the foot down :(...But I am thinking a card is the best route too.