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Re: Day 69 - Love's still Motivation

Day 69 - Love's still Motivation

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    Day 69—Love’s still Motivation

     

    “Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way.  Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person - unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.”

     

    I woke up this morning excited. My fever broke during the night, so I was feeling a lot more energized. I felt enough energy to actually exercise, which I haven’t done for a week now due to being sick. I was of course really looking forward to my date tonight with my husband. Along with that excitement though I had a feeling that just wasn’t sitting right with me, but I kept pushing it aside. When I logged into facebook to post my ‘daily words that inspire’ I noticed my husband removed me as his “friend” again. I thought that was odd and usually know what that means, but was not going to read too much into it.

     

    I exercised, got ready, stopped by the bank, and then felt compelled to visit my Grandpa who I haven’t seen in way too long. While there I ended up having a couple text messages and missed calls from my husband. He was checking on how I was feeling and if I still had a temperature. Since my Grandpa only lives a couple minutes from me I waited to call him back when I got home. I prayed about it first—you know me—and felt it was okay. I ended up leaving a message just letting him know I was home now, so feel free to give a call back if wanted. A few minutes later I got a call back. He asked how I was doing and I let him know my fever broke during the night and that I was feeling much better today. He then proceeded to tell me that he was sorry, but he needed to cancel our date tonight. My heart dropped. He went on saying that he needs space, but would be in contact. My mind was racing. Rather than probe him with questions. All that came out was, “whatever you need. I love you.” And that was the end of the conversation.

     

    Tears started streaming down my face. I was very disappointed because I was truly looking forward to tonight and now I am back to not knowing when I would hear from him again especially since he outright said he needs space. I started asking God what I did wrong. Where did I get off the path? I only contacted him when told to do so. I never initiated our dates or him coming over. I did not pressure him in any way about anything. I have been so dang cautious about my words and actions. He graciously filled me with assurance that I did not do anything wrong. I am to still stand firm in what He has told me. He just has some more work to do. No argument there.

     

    I read back through the chapter again and just like last round this jumped out at me—“The love that’s demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate’s sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit…being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply—not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse—changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.”

     

    Devoid of seeing my husband today God still gave me the opportunity to express my love to him in a tangible way without me even realizing I was doing it in the moment. I accomplished it with my response—“whatever you need. I love you.” I continue to lift him up in prayer multiple times a day—for his own healing and salvation.

     

    Even though my night was not what I thought it was going to be when I woke this morning—I used the time alone this evening to pray and finish the book “Heaven is for Real.” I thanked God for the timing of it because I would definitely not have gotten out of it what I did if I would have read it just a few short months ago. A lot of eye opening moments for me. The biggest one being—we are to have a childlike faith—a wonder and awe at what Christ did for us. It is a synergy of trust, hope, and simplicity that knows the Lord loves us and will lead us. Because of our trust in the Lord, we are more able to take comfort in Him. Childlike faith sees the world as exciting and adventurous, and worth pursuing with our faith so opportunities to please God override ours. It is a part of us that we should never lose. It enables us to maintain our humbleness and enthusiasm rather than become just a routine. God has RESTORED my childlike faith and I NEVER want to lose it again. My child-like faith says that God’s opinion is the ONLY opinion. He settles all arguments and His way of thinking is best. I believe Christ’s words on any situation and there is no room for argument—a truth that I would have never experienced without this journey.

  • Here is the first thing you need to do. Stop.... What makes you think you did something wrong? And most importantly why do you think for one second Christ is punishing you? Christ does not punish you, especially in this journey. That is a complete selfish thought and concern. Christ will mold you in many ways. Seek out what Christ wants you to know in this situation. A big part of this journey is depending on Christ to grant you the wisdom and understanding.

  • I never thought God was punishing me. I just thought I did something wrong because of my husband's choice, but Christ squashed it pretty quickly. There is just more work that needs to be done and I need to be out of the way. You are right this journey is about depending on Christ in every way possible, which in situations as this gives me the opportunity to show that dependence even more and grow in Him even more.

  • You cannot wonder what your husband thinks you have done wrong. He is still living through following his heart and nothing you do has a bearing on that.

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