The Love Dare

This one was another toughie. I have been taking on doing things that he needs me to without asking for a little while since starting the dares. Our finances are really rough right now and he has a lot on his shoulders with that since he's the only one who makes money. This past week he had to get a lot of financial paperwork together and I helped him in whatever I could. I would have loved to take the stress & worry of our finances off his shoulders for todays dare & forever, but that was just not possible. I racked my brain for ideas & nothing really came to me. I prayed on it & in the meantime did some laundry & played with my little girl. Just as I put her down for a nap, I got this crazy urge to iron. I took all his work clothes out of the dryer and started ironing, then I moved into the closet & looked through his clothes that he had stuffed inside that needed ironing. I ironed for at least an hour or more! and I really, really HATE ironing! The whole time i was ironing i thought of how sharp it would make him look, how much more professional he would look...I didn't really stop to think about how much I was hating it. I acctually didn't mind it because I knew it would be beneficial for my husband. Then I started thinking about everything else that I had taken on that I used to hate to do: pretty much all the housework & it didn't bother me doing that stuff anymore. I used to gripe how my husband would never help out with that kinda stuff, but really it was becasue I never thought about how it made him feel to come home to a little neater home, to go have clean & folded clothes when he needed them, etc. I always claimed I had no time for that stuff- but the truth was, I just didn't want to do it. And know that I do it everyday, I don't hate it & it makes me feel good knowing that it will make my husband a little bit more happy coming home to a orderly home where he doesn't feel stressed out because there are toys all over or he has no clothes to change into. It's a little stress I could take off his shoulders.

I realized a lot about myself, a lot of the stuff I ever refused to do was becasue I was forced to do it growing up. It was as if I was still rebelling against my parents & never considered my husbands feelings! God has been definately molding me... I feel it and I see it & I like it :)

I have also realized I am taking things going on in our relationship a day, a step at a time. He still says he doesn't love me and doesn't foresee it changing, but I will see what happens. I'm not stressing over it! Today my husband texted me at 5 asking if I had made dinner yet. I had not becasue the previous night he said he was probably going out with his friends after work. Well, he told me he said he might he didn't tell me he was doing it for sure... so I just listened & started on dinner. I made dinner, but he didn't even get home until 7. He did eat though :) Then we put the kids down, watched movies... but he was texting or on the computer a lot. It's like he wants to watch with me, but he has other people to talk to. I don't let it get to me though! For the first time in months, my husband is at home on a Friday night! WOW! In the past, I would have gotten upset with him for not telling em his plans had changed, and then asking for dinner but not coming home until 2 hours later, etc. Though it started to bother me a tad at first, I just let it go.

I continue to pray daily, many times a day & it helps me through my weak moments and my good times. I can be myself...and even my bad days are not even close to being that bad! I have more patience with my kids and my husband then I ever had before & I feel free. I feel like I can let go & I like not being in control :) I look at everyone & everything with love in my eyes...it is so wonderful :) God is doing something great with me...I praise Him always for never giving up on me :)

Dare 28

Dare 28