Well, I wasn't able to talk to my husband again. What pops into my head though that I could lift my expectations from his shoulders. He's told me in the past I expect to much. I can do that for him.
How much of your mate's stress is caused by your lack of concern or initiative?
Probably a lot. It's really hard to be concerned or to initiate anything to help when in the past you get yelled at for it. My husband is what they call a functioning alcoholic, mixed in with being a workaholic amongst other things. His moods change quite frequently, you never know what you're going to get. I started going to al-anon family groups to help me cope as I was having a melt down.
When you expressed a desire to help, how did they receive it?
I haven't told him yet.
Are there other needs you could meet?
I'll have to give this more thought. What springs to mind though is more support. I mean by holding off the negative words or actions. I know he's sick, even though he can't see it. The best and kindest thing to do is leave him to God to help him. I can't do it anymore.
Thought I'ld just add these dares are giving me something more to focus on throughout my days and nights. My inner compass has changed direction. Not longer is it constantly pointing at my hubby, worrying. It is now listening to healthy music, joining in a fellowship called Celebrate Recovery, reading the Bible again and most of all interested in a relationship with Jesus. This has all been since starting the dares. It is quite amazing.
Celebrate recovery is awesome... Follow the lessons of it, and you will find things that you never thought of.