I texted my husband this morning. I apologized for having unrealistic expectations that he could solve our financial issues & hinted that I was working on joining the workforce again. I ended with I love you always. I didn't want to put too much emphasis on what I was going to do, I wanted this to be about me seeing my error & that I was sorry. If my husband wants to know my plans, I will share them with him...but when he wants to know.
Its hard for me sometimes to not think about him. I don't go on facebook often because I don't want the temptation of seeing what he's up to or with whom. I also don't need the drama from all those people in my life either. I did go on today though to put up some pictures my freinds asked me to from a concert we went to last night. I saw an update from my husband that he was friends with 2 more women. Now, I didn't jump to conclusions because I don't know how they know eachother... it bothered me a little because it made me miss him (and I can't say I didn't feel a pang of jealousy). But I took the time to pray & it helped. I quickly uploaded the pictures & signed off. I don't want to know... I trust God. Saying that in my head over and over again makes me smile. I trust God.
Of course it is hard not to think about him. God blessed you both with marriage. And there is nothing wrong with thinking about him. Especially when you can take the dare about the appreciation room and properly do it.
As for facebook. that is one of the worst things on this earth for a marriage. Actually for pretty much anything. My wife and I have one. But we are extremely strict with not putting anyone as friends without actually knowing them. Not because of trust issues, but because of privacy issues. Others just friend whoever. And that just might be the case.
Remember, 80% of what you worry about, NEVER happens, 15% that does IS NOT anywhere near as bad as you make it, and the other 5% you just leave for Christ to deal with....
Just a question. Did you by chance see how many guys he friended? If there were any, why upset only about the women?
Even in these situations you need to trust Christ, that things are not what the flesh makes them out to be!
When my husband and I started on Facebook, it was mostly for keeping in touch with our huge out of state family members. He never friended anyone he didn't really like/ talk to & I never worried about him having male/ female friends. But I also know that he met the women he had the emotional affair with by reconnecting with her mom on facebook. I also know that when he left last year he was "flirty" with other women who friended him on facebook. He even went out on a couple dates with someone. This place we're in is very familiar to me. When he moved to his moms last year, at first he'd come to "see the kids" & we would almost always wind up being intimate. Then when he started flirting & eventually seeing this other woman, he wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. He said going out with this other woman made him realize he missed me. And almost exactly a year later we're back in the same place again. The difference this time is that I am completely trusting in God & am able to go on with my life.
Anyway, that's why I get antsy when he friends women, especially when it's several over a span of only a couple days. He has many male friends on facebook, but he doesn't add as many male friends as female friends lately. I am not worrying about it, last night I went to church & the homily was exactly the same message, do what you can & leave the rest to God to deal with! So what I can do is stay off facebook & avoid finding things out & resisting temptation. The thing is, I know he is also very active on another social network page, and last year I created a false profile to check on him... When he came home I deleted it. This time around, I don't even want to deal with it- I don't want to know. I'm leaving it with God.
I also wanted to add- the dare about the appreciation room is one of my favorites! If anyone ever tries to say negative things about him or if a negative thought begins to creep into my head, I go to the appreciation room immediately. I try to live every day in the appreciation room- and not just in regards to my husband, but in regard to life in general.
That's why even though I can be thinking the worst, I am choosing to think the best. I can't live worrying about the "what ifs"... I know God will take care of it, on His time schedule & however He chooses to handle it...
Praise God... That is a testimony in itself...
Now, you need to continue to worry about your journey. I assure you Christ will put much conviction in his life...
And soon those habits and hang ups he has will catch up with him. It will be your testimony that he will desire for himself.