The past several days have been a blessing. Over the weekend my cousin (was a little drunk) practically cried on my shoulders becasue he is very wealthy & has everything he could ever want, except for kids. He and his wife are unable to have children. He announced how he would give up everything he has and live in a shack if he could only have one child. It brings me to tears everytime I think about this... and it makes me remember how blessed my life is. I may not be wealthy, but I have more than any money in the world could buy :)
Yesterday my husband brought up our future living arrangements again. This time when he asked me to talk to my parents if they would let me stay in an apartment for free, I told him that I think he should be the one to ask them. He became very frustrated & I simply explained that I would go wherever he arranged it for me and the kids to stay, but since he was the one who wanted to change our current living/family situation, he would have to be the one to figure out those details. Needless to say, he got upset. He told me I was being selfish, he threatened to tell my family about everything going on between us on Christmas Eve (I guess he doesn't realize they already know...), he told me that if I decided to become difficult that he would make sure I got my payback, he said that if I thought I was going to sit back and enjoy everything for "free" then he would rather quit his job and give me nothing, for the first time in months he yelled loud enough to wake up our daughter, etc. For the most part I let him grumble. I did tell him that I wasn't getting anything for "free" because the price of breaking up this family was greater than any monetary amount. I told him I would be fine in a shack with my kids. He couldn't stop talking about how much money it was going to cost him...I know he is stressed about finances. I prayed a lot while he was ranting, asking for Jesus to calm him and fill him with His love and peace. After all was said and done, I thanked the Lord for my blessings and prayed for my husband.
It's funny how even the closest people I know who are on the right path with God can suggest retaliation to his behavior. I guess that's just human nature. I have tried to continue to be kind and loving to my husband, but he has gone on to completely ignore me. I knew that was coming. SO I had a good reason not to complete the dare today... but I chose to anyway. I apologized for the unrealistic expectations & he just said "you know what, let's not talk to each other unless it has to do with the kids".
I tried to fiish up my meager Christmas shopping today... I bought a few items for my husband. My close friend and even my mother in law both were surprised I bought him anything at all & then suggested I give them to him "from the kids". My mother in law blankly stated that she is tired of his sh*t... I told her not to give up on him & to continue praying. Me, on the other hand, I've let him go. I'm not letting him to put a damper on this holiday season for me and the kids & I'm not worrying about his is doing or will be doing. I'm trusting him to Christ.
One thing you must realize is that satan will use everything to come at you. Other people telling you to react with worldly actions. But your growth in Christ is so great you are able to fight those off and realize that is not of Christ.... The dare has prepared you for this. It has taught you to be humble, in Christs likeness...
You did such a great job by putting asking your parents on him. And do not feel bad for it. You are right. If he is the one wanting this, why should you help.
Now as your testimony grows, the more he will fight it. There is a breaking point on this, but only God knows when that is.
Be strong and lay it all at Gods feet. Go about your day knowing Christ will always carry you, and you are heading for the happiest time in your life.