Collaborate without boundaries

mmmmm rigt!

mmmmm rigt!

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    My Spouse needs to see cosistency in my actions.... even though his are all over the place.
    But then, like you said, we all justify our actions right.
     
    I see that he needs to see a cosistent role model in order for him to believe because he is actually testing and watchuing me all the time.
    Any slip, and that is new bate to justify what he did and make me take the blame for something.
     
    When I appologised for two areas that I know he holds anger towards me for, it seemed cool but then the more he spoke he got more and more angry.
    He told me I talk too much and i am destryoing out home by telling the pastor that he sleeps out of the house.
    That i am the one who needs to realise that in marriage, certain things need to stay within the home, but that I am always quick to tell people whats going on. i.e that he does not sleep in the house when he goes out drinking.
     
    He said that its embarrased him for people to know that he does that.
    He said that there is no way people can see what he is doing and the only way that they find out is becuase of me.
    I asked him about the drunked pictures on face book that the world see and a bunch of other things that he does in public.
    All this meant nothing to him.
     
    i told him that his behaviour hurts me and that I did not get married so that I can spend nights alone.
    He said that I am free to go and tell who ever I want that I am hurt.
    I said that way you answer me is the reason why we need help.
     
    I reaffirmed that I just wanted to appologise but that all this blame that is comming on to me is abit too much. He stoppped talking all together and that was how the night ended.
     
    I really feel taken advantage of by him and I as much as I want the Lord to work on him, I want the Lord to work on me more.
    He said that he would not come to the church any more because he did not appreciate the "scolding" the pastor gave him. He said how can he know that i was out for 5 days.
    its all because of your big mouth.
    I told him that if i call his mom for her to speak to him, he will refuse to even get on the phone.
    when I speak he does not listen.
    when freinds seek to advise he will not take it.
     
    I told him that this is not the way people are meant to live and this is not the  life that i want for my self.
     
    I asked him, why he can not just try to live the life that he wants people to think that he is living rather than live a double life.
    all that meant nothing.
     
    I recall what a lady at work said, she said that  until a person knows better, they will only do what they know.
    Spouse was raised in an adulterous drunken unaccountable family and that is what I am dealing with, in one way or another on a daily basis.
     
    I am not perfect, i also have faults and family baggage that weighs me down too.
     
    We had not argued since I began the dares and this passed week, with him being home and comming to church, it all appeared to be calm. But todays dare has just shown what is lurking at the surface and that is why we must always be midful to pray, because I was ready to lay my prayer guard down.... yet even the bible says when refering to the end times and Israel that they will say peace peace, yet there is no peace, then sudden destruction will come upon them.
    I think thats what happened to me, I saw what looked like peace and yet there was no peace.
     
    so like I said earlier, my spouse need to see me consistent in all areas.
  • Yes he does. He needs to see your testimony. But also realize as you believed what the world ingrained in you about money, the world ingrained into him about following his heart. And that is the exact situation he is in at the moment.

    You need to change that by trusting Christ and allowing Christ to work on him, you worry about your journey with Christ right now. Remember in this dare your husband is just a tool.

  • Thank you for this Sean, Praise God.

    Yesterday when I got home, I went to haev a look at the dare for that day but I just began to ask God to fill all the areas in my life where I am expecting spouse to.

    I ask sincerely, that he would show me how possible it was for him to be to me all that I associate should be the role of a spouse.

    I really can not see it but I asked that he reveal it to me because i really want to be with Him, in His pressence for all eternity.

  • Also, Christ will show you things about yoUr relationship with Him through your marriage. Seek out those things, knock for Him to open,...

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