Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Busy Busy

Busy Busy

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  • My schedule was too tight to complete day 26 on the exact day.  I did ask her to talk later that evening, and prayed on it, but the opportunity did not present itself to apologize and confess.  I had an appointment with my counselor that day, and she knows I am doing the love dare.  Last week she had helped me open my eyes to my faults and wrong doings in my marriage, and this session she helped me craft my apology and confession.  Since I could not give the apology face to face or on the phone, I wrote a letter.  Bought some real nice writing paper, a nice pen, and some red ribbon.  I prayed for the Holy Spirit to enter me while I wrote.  I wrote in cursive, my apology and confession to her, in which I confessed everything I possibly could think of.  I picked up my second oldest son for cub scouts and delivered the letter.  This was possibly the first time I have ever written my wife a letter.

    I did not recieve any type of response, even though I expected alot of anger out of her for my confession of adultery.  Praise the Lord, for he works in ways that I cannot imagine. 

    It feels so good to be forgiven, even if she did not say anything about it.  I have been carrying these weights for years and this guilt and frustration.

    I do still feel alot of temptation, as I have told people my wife and I are divorcing, women have come out of the woodwork to offer.  I do feel strong in the Lord to be able to turn them down, and I pray on strength in this area daily.  Every time I get a thought of being more than just a friend with another woman in my head, I tell Satan to be gone.  It is difficult because I am envious of the fact that she has another man who is sleeping in my bed in my house and I still have the wanting of that earthly love.  I know I have Christ's love and I feel happiness and peace from that.

    On another note, a few of my friends are looking at me really wierd for my relationship with Christ.  I just keep asking them to come to church with me when they do.

     

    Jason

  • Dont envy... You are on a journey with Christ. you are learning His ways of loving unconditionally. Think of it like this. The next time you have the opportunity to love, it will be like you never could have dreamed. Not matter if it is your wife or after the divorce someone else.

    I know what you are thinking I have been there. But there was a line I hit, and I told my wife who was in an affair at the time. She wanted me to file the divorce, and I told her I could not, even though I would be justified in doing so I wanted to do things right for Christ. I told her, please if she is going to file, do it quickly so we can move on. She asked why. I told her, you have seen everything changing in my life. And you know the reason. I finally know what love is, and I want to share it with someone that can share it with me. Even if it is not you!

    My point is this. Know that you dont have to worry about these things any more. Christ is leading the way, and He has such a better plan for our lives if we just stay out of His way!

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