This dare is an eye opener, even more so in round 2. This dare asks you to swallow your pride and be humble. Why is this so hard for men or at least for me? Piece by piece I have come to realize how I did not honor my wife, at first I always had an excuse (pride still hanging on a bit) and then at some point I stopped the excuses and looked in the mirror and “got it”. I was a good provider and father but became a less supportive husband over the years, did not love my wife like Christ loved the church. Now maybe I discovered this a little too late and it will cost me my marriage, I hope not, and this may sound crazy but I feel lucky to have this happen to me, to become a better person. Don’t get me wrong I would not wish the emotional hell I’ve been through on anyone but I do feel that I needed to be humbled to grow with Christ and pride was a wall that needed to be taken down.
As if my wife knew what today’s dare was she texted me “angry” after dusting an item that I wanted to throw out that had sentimental value to her, I was such a jerk, I don’t even remember the argument but I know I was wrong, so I got to apologize for that and the many other times I did not honor her. Now my wife hears my apologies but she is not ready to forgive and trust. She says her walls are too built up and she has no love for me and then the divorce talk. This is where it gets really hard because my heart is in such a different place I just want to scream….. “I’m not that person come on get on board and our marriage will be incredible” but I just have to keep waiting, patience.
What you are able to see now, is how selfish you really are/were. It seems some of that is still there since arguments even now, you recognize you are not able to control yourself and humble yourself.
However, don't beat yourself up about forgiveness. You need to commit the situation to prayer. Confess your wrong to Christ, there you will be forgiven on the spot and be right with Him. Then apologize to her.
Right now, everything you are doing seems like a scam to her. So it is your testimony that will change that. Humbling yourself is not as hard as you think. What is hard is giving up control to Christ and trusting Him. He must come first. When you love Him first, you then can love her better.
Thanks for the insight. And just to make sure my post was clear I do not scream, want to, but dont, and now I get that this this is still a selfish thought, not being humble, guess I still have work to do. But man itis hard when your spouse suddenly turns ice cold towards you. Will keep focusing on getting right with god, putting him first, and trusting him on this journey.
Of course you do... We all do. Christ will not stop working until His work is done with us. And that is not until the days He comes back.
Yes it is hard when they are cold to us. But believe me, it is the greatest thing. As you grow with Christ and He fills the voids in you. The more you love Him the better you love her. She is not going to understand anything you do in your walk. In fact, she is going to get tic'd off more and more. Remember, it is not fair that you can walk in happiness while she is miserable. And she will do whatever it takes to get that negative response out of you. But remember this is where your testimony comes in. The more you can look to Christ for control and comfort the more you become a testimony to her and the more she will see this is not a con.
Trust me my friend. This is the hardest thing you will ever do!