I’d like to be able to say that I accomplished this dare the first time around, and I don’t still struggle with it, but I do. I am able to forgive, but I have to do it often. I know that my husband is fighting an internal battle. I know that he is struggling. I have to remind myself constantly of this when I see what this is doing to our family. His anger and indecisiveness hurt our daughter. I can deal with it – I know that the things he’s saying are just him trying to maintain control. She doesn’t get that. She thinks he’s angry at her all of the time. Some days, she doesn’t want to go near him, which just makes him angrier. He’s hurt that she wants to sit next to me instead of next to him, but she thinks he’s sick and truly angry. That’s an internal struggle that she is just not going to understand.
My husband stayed up very late the night before, and had trouble getting up this morning. He and our daughter laid around until noon. It was rainy outside, so we weren’t able to do anything outside. We decided to go bowling for a couple of hours and eat lunch at the bowling alley. It was a fun, light-hearted afternoon. My husband got cranky a couple of times, but we got him through it. I just did what needed to be done without asking him to do it himself. He needs so much to know that he’s in control of the family… that he’s leading us. I want him to know that he is. However, he is unable to make any day to day decisions and looks at me whenever we need to do anything – including getting a lane at the bowling alley. He just freezes, right now, if he needs to say anything to another person.
After bowling, we went home, and our daughter went to play in her room while he took a nap. That evening, my husband had plans with a friend of his, so I made plans for our daughter and me to spend the evening at a friend’s house. We had a nice time. The rain had finally let up, so all of the kids were playing outside.
My husband stayed out really, really late, which he had already told me he was going to. We played games on our phone against one another for a while. His friends had taken him out to a local sports bar, so I knew he was incredibly bored. He does not enjoy sports or the bar scene, and I had to appreciate that he was having some contact with me.
Forgiving often is what Christ does for us, we should be in the same situation