I felt some peace today. I also felt some calmness. I didn't think too long and hard about the forgiveness piece today because I was occupied with other things BUT I think I was able to act like I have chosen to forgive. I quickly gave to GOD any thoughts that might have popped up asking for him to take care of it because I have already done it for too long. It was just a good day. I also read in another post that you have to forgive each time something happens. I think I was under the illusion that I would just do this one huge forgiveness once the affiar was over. So i was waiting and waiting for that to happen. Today I discovered that I will need to forgive him for each and everything when it comes up. I will hold on to the fact that Christ died for our sins and I am forgiven for each and everyone of them so HOW can I possibly not forgive my husband??? WHY is it so difficult to do what GOD is asking of me? Why can I not completely surrender and do everything out of LOVE for Christ? I think I'm getting there each and every day with each and every dare I complete. I want to forgive him. I know I have to forgive him. I'm a little stuck though. I don't want to get hurt again. I know there are no guarantees. I think the important thing to me is how do I show him that I have truly forgiven him?? By not throwing it back in his face. By protecting him. By loving him. By treating him like he's the most important person in my life (after GOD of course). It's a struggle but I am committed to doing this. Each day and each moment that I need to.
I also realized I must forgive myself for how I have treated him during this marriage. That is my contribution to messing this marriage up. I feel sad that I have made him feel the way he does. I cannot take back what I have done. I can and will continue to work on these things.
I must forgive him for having this affair and for all the ways he has hurt me throughout our time together and then turn it over to GOD and never look back. I pray I have the willingness and strength to do this.
again... Christ will focus and work on you in the areas He needs you to fix. But prayer and devotion are so important. Always find the time!
Trusting Christ is knowing that no matter what is going on, or what happens Christ will make a blessing out of it.
For example the affair. You would not be on this path if it were not for that.
So honestly, your salvation or eternal damnation.... Think about it.
Now that you are here, He will mold you. Wait until you start a complete trusting walk. It is amazing!
I will make sure to make time for prayer and deveotion. I have been turning to Christ all through out the day for both prayer and praise.
I think it's pretty incredible that Christ will make a blessing out of everything. That's incredible!
Yes as awful as this has been I would not be here today on this journey. i would still be doing things my way not God's way.
I am starting to feel that it's incredible to know that yes I am always loved and always forgiven and GOD never ever lets me down.
And when you are able to truly lay your burden at His feet, it is even better.
I've been bringing things to him and trying to leave them there. Past feel days I feel like I am not as burdened with all the stuff. PRAISE GOD!
Yes, Praise Him.
He will take your burdens if you are truly willing to hand them over. And every void you have will be fulfilled.
I'm seeing that and feeling that Sean! THANKS BE TO GOD!
And now each day it will be easier.