At first I thought I had let go over everything I was holding against her, then realized I had not. I'm asking god to reveal to me any areas of unforgiveness I may have against Melanie so that I can deal with it. This is very important... it may take more than a day to work through.
Much of the dares take more than a day. But it is the molding that is taking place that is so important.
Since signing the papers, I've been fine with moving on. I still get daily devotionals from Rejoice Ministries. Many of the people that give testimonies on that site mention seeing a Covenant Transport truck (represents the covenant God made with us and the covenant that married couples make to one another) prior to seeing their marriages restored. I've never seen one nor have I really thought much about it.
When I was coming back from Savannah last week, a friend mentioned wanting to set me up with a girl that she knows that is a devout Christian. I told her that I would be interested, but only after the divorce was final - Melanie had the signed papers in hand last Tuesday. I was thinking about it on the way home and asked God for the right attitude about the divorce... not to look forward to it too much and if there was something I should be doing to tell me what to do.
I stopped by the office that afternoon after getting back in. When I left, I was listening to K-Love when I heard the DJ tell a man, "You and Mel have created a ministry at home...". It caught my attention because I always called Melanie, Mel, for short. At that very moment I looked up and I was behind a Covenant Transport Truck.
Honestly, I shrugged it off. This morning, I called the Superior Court to get proof that the papers have been filed so I could remove Melanie off my insurance. She had not filed yet (she's had the papers for a week).
When I sent the papers to her, I included her reimbursement check from VSP for her eye exam last November. She texted me today to let me know that she deposited that check in my account. I wasn't going to reply because she had blocked my text messages, but I felt it was the right thing in God's eyes to do. If she was blocking, that is on her. I sent her just a "thanks" text assuming it would be blocked. It was not.
What is amazing is that as venomous as she was towards me (her nasty comments, blocked text, running up my phone bill with downloads), she actually did something nice today, maybe out of guilt. All of this doesn't necessarily mean that anything changes for us... or that we'll reconcile, but it's evidence that God is working on her and her salvation. That excites me.
I'm not sure what all of this means, but if she was to contact me and want to talk, I would. While the things she has done has made me angry at times, I will hold no account of it. They will never be mentioned again.
As far as the dares, I will not make any attempt to contact her outside what is absolutely necessary out of respect for her, but I will start Day 26 tomorrow.
You really need to focus on your dares still. This journey is not complete for you. The molding continues.
The trust you have in Christ is amazing so soon! But be careful, satan will continue to try to trip you up. Hence the friend asking to hook you up already.
Think about this. God gives us the writ of divorce for what reasons? But it is also said, from the beginning it was not so.
I know you said you would wait until the divorce was final, but I believe you should really take time with Christ before you go for something like that. Just because she finalizes the divorce does not mean it is over in Gods eyes.