When I read this dare I wanted to say that I had already forgiven my husband. I thought I had. I wrote in my journal on this and prayed on this before beginning the day. I have to be honest that I had not truly "let go" of the hurt of my past. Not just with my husband but with other people/places/things in my life. I have listed out all of the people that I need to forgive. This piece of the Love Dare I'm going to use a seperate tool for forgiveness of others and myself that has helped me in the past. I will be examining what I felt that had hurt me, and also looking at what I did in these situations to make them worse, or to hurt myself more. I pray for God to show me how he sees each of these people. I prayed Saturday morning for God to remove all of the bitterness, anger and resentment I have harbored over the years. I also prayed that If I need to take action in any one of these relationships that he would show me what his will would be that I need to do. as a side note, this day was a better day with my husband than we have had in a week or two. We had a date and a lot of fun. We did have a short serious discussion part of the way through the evening. We went to a Christian bookstore(he has been looking for a bible that he can take backpacking with us) and I saw a book that I would like for us to work on together. It made me sad because I knew in my heart he isn't ready for it. I almost started crying and went to the car to wait on him. He came and asked me what had made me sad. I told him, which may not have been the best thing, however I felt he needed to know how I felt. He was then sad because he said he felt that I didn't have faith in him. I told him that no, I thought it was a matter of time. That he would be there soon.
There is a new book I am reading and I look back on my past... And I see the same in me that I am seeing in you.
We try to play God... I know that sounds really harsh. But think about it. We cannot change our past, so we try to control our image by hiding the truth about ourselves, fearing we will be rejected by others (even the people closest to us).
We try to control others by manipulating each other through guilt or shame, or even praise. We try to control our problems by saying things like "I can handle it"...
The consequences of this is Fear, then that leads to frustration, fatigue, then failure.
We are not God... We must submit to Him and allow Him to be God in our lives. This is the only way to receive freedom from our hurts, hand-ups, and habits....
These dares will mold you to allow you to be ready to grow even further...
Now, you chose to move forward in your life... It took time for you to get there. But none the less you are there. And one thing is we as humans think others should be able to catch up quickly to where we are... And that is our impatience...
Do not allow what you think (if he is ready or not) make you sad. That is selfishness within you doing that. Take that and turn it to be a testimony, so that he can get there through your love and support.
I'm not quite sure if I am following what you are saying here. Would you care to elaborate?
I had such a hard time recognizing my feelings, or admitting that I had feelings period that it seems a step back for me to not feel the feelings. I'm not saying that I should let them control my actions, however stuffing them in my opinion would be counter productive to my spiritual welfare as well. In my experience it is better to accept feelings, acknowledge that you have them then decide what to do from there(act not act)
Thoughts on that?
To elaborate... Many of our feelings come from what we want, or what we want to control but cant.
As for not feeling the feelings. I had the same concern. I thought I was getting to the point of not caring at all. But that was just not the case. It was comfort that Christ blessed me with. When I put Him first in my life, that changed everything.
The feelings that I would just accept throughout my life was living through the flesh. If something did not go my way it was my selfishness that caused the feelings.
Now that I desire to live for Christ, I live His will. My selfishness is not in it. Dont get me wrong, I slip here and there. But when I do, I lay it at His feet.
In this journey with Christ, things will not be what they used to be. Do not confuse Christs comfort with not feeling things the way you used to.