End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed - today - and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
I thought that I had gotten rid of every possible contact with the OM. I deleted him and his wife from Facebook, made available all of my usernames and passwords for all of my email accounts, Facebook, etc. So when I received a text from him on this day, wishing me a happy birthday, I realized that I had never deleted his number from my phone! How could I have forgotten this! I deleted the text, and deleted his phone number, which also had his IM contact info. I realize that deleting this information does not erase it from my mind. His phone number has been the same for 15 years, and I memorized it a long time ago, but the act of deleting all of that information really made it feel deleted. In time, I’m sure I will even forget the number.
The other thing that I’m removing is going shopping for every little thing that I believe I need. My husband is so fiscally responsible, and I have not been. Although he’s never said it, since he is an excellent provider, I know that this creates an area of separation between us. I always think that I need something bigger and better than what I already have.
I picked up our daughter mid morning from a sleepover, took her to a beach birthday party for a few hours. This gave my husband some time to sleep in and have some quiet time. I got to spend some time with some of my closest girlfriends at the party. When I got home, my husband and I watched a movie while our daughter played in her room. She had not spent time at home since Monday evening, and it was now Saturday. It was a busy week! My parents were having a dinner for me at their house, and they expected me to bring our daughter but not my husband. I went to the dinner but left our daughter at home. Her daddy hadn’t seen her since Monday, and they needed some one on one time together. I stayed no longer than promised and came home to enjoy some family time.
The distance between my parents and my husband is very difficult right now. I’ve set down boundaries on what they can talk about with me, and what is off limits. I appreciate their concern, but they’re not able to support me in the way that I need right now. I’ve backed off, significantly, on my relationship with them over the last 6 weeks, and I’m sure even that hurts them. There are just some things that I can’t give them right now.
I prayed, tonight, for my parents. I prayed that Christ would open their hearts to Him. That He would help them see past their hurt and resentment to take in the bigger picture. The love that exists in my home, and in me.
Honor thy mother and father... But your husband is above that. You need to continue to protect him in that situation.