Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Not sure where to even begin

Not sure where to even begin

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  • Hi everyone.  I absolutely loved Fireproof and it really mirrors my marriage.  My husband and I have been having problems for a long time and it is now to a point where divorce is probably imminent.  He ended up having and emotional affair with someone who was supposed to be a good friend (although Im not so sure it didnt go further.  He said it didn't but Im having a hard time believing it because it went on for 1 1/2 years) and I am having a hard time with forgiveness.  He said he now wants a divorce that we have done so much damage to each other that it is irreversible.  Im not so sure I dont want one too.  I just dont know how much of this is anger and hurt for me.  I get so disgusted when I think about it and see him. Right now we are in seperate rooms in the house and barely speak.  I dont want this for my kids and have decided to do the love dare on my kids to fill them with love and let them know I will always be there for them. I have the love dare for marriage too but I dont know if I should do both at the same time and/or if it work for the marriage.  Right now I am so hurt (I just discovered the affair in July) and I dont want to live like this anymore.  So Im sure others have been/or still are in this same situation.  How has this worked for your marriage?  Any advice and insight would be welcome.  I know I have decided to work ME and become the person I need to be.  I know I need Gods guidance and I desire his healing loving grace.  I know this is a long road for me but right now I dont know which way is up.  Do I try to save my marriage??  Do I accept that its over??  

  • I think I posted under the wrong thing.  Sorry..I just joined last night.  I meant it as a general post.  

  • No problem posting here.  But the other section, under the community tab,and then under the love dare journal section will get more responses.

    This is a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and your husband.  He will be used as a tool to mold you into loving like He loves.

    Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  Do not read ahead, other than the appendix, especially leading the heart.  You need to read that asap.  

    Have no expectations in doing the dares.  he may ignore or even get upset with you doing the dares.  That is not important.  The important part is you trusting Christ when doing the dares, and do them without making them easier to do, such as texting if you should call or say something in person.  

    It will get worse before it gets better.  There is purpose in this.  

    Give up?  No,  stand for your marriage.  a marriage is a covenant between you, him, and Christ.  A covenant is not to be broken.  But try to save yoiur marriage?  not really, that is what Christ will work on.  You stand in the marriage by doing and living the dares.

    Christ has never given up on you.  So, you do the same and don[t walk away from your husband.  

    AS far as does this work to save marriages.  The most important thing is everyone that does the dares as they are intended, to grow in Christ, comes away in peace and does not regret dong the dares.  Some marriages reconcile, some do not.   The ones that do not, often times are the ones that did the dares there way or gave up.  The ones that had the marriage reconcile stop coming to the site because they no longer need it.

    I promise you it is worth doing.  you will quickly find out if you choose to do the dares as they are intended to be done, daily.

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