So the objects of lust I had in my life were a certain person I knew from high school and became friends with during the first yrs of our marriage when we were separated due to his addiction. And every time life got stressful or hard w/my husband i lusted after this person.
Another struggle for me & does pop up every once in awhile is pornography. I was addicted to it when i was younger and now i dont act on it but it is always in the back of my mind. Especially when i get stressed or lonely. I have to pray to stop the thoughts of it.
The last is money. I always thought if we could have enough we could get things done, what we wanted, and we would be happy and less stressed. I would see something i wanted and would just buy it, Than it got to where i didnt want to spend any and everything was a waste.
These things have cost me a lot. The trust of my husband, loving my husband, being close w/him, and our friendship. These things were selfish and foolish & reading what i just wrote, I can't believe I ever let them control me and turn me from my spouse.
They led me to a very selfish place. I never wanted to be someone like that.
My new commitment is to seek God in everyday, all day, in everything I do and to seek my spouse instead of the world.To understand him and get to know him. To stop looking at things to fill me up but to look to God to do it.
During our 8 yrs of marriage i never saw these things as that harmful except the pornography. I knew that was, but the others never looked "that bad".
I was wrong. I no longer want to chase the world. its exhausting, selfish, and unfulfilling. And the price is too high and the damage too much.
These things are dead to me now.
Praise God for that strength, because each one of those things are things the enemy will use to get you to fall.
But also remember these are your testimony. Of what Christ can do for others, and you are a living testimate to that.