Items I have lusted for have already been removed. My length of unemployment as a business executive has removed the lust for image and material items. My pending separation has eliminated the lust for the possesions we already have. My lust for being viewed as a good parent was a farse. My lust for sexual desire has been eliminated by both my spouse and eliminating the tempation for porn. I suppose I still lust for my wife but am trying to control that both out of respect and rejection.
I do have a lust and passion for knowledge evidenced both by this journey and choosing to return to grad school. As I type this and reflect on this journey one of the items I heard my wife share was that she didn't understand my desire to go to grad school and that I should be sure to finish because of the cost (non-financial). Reducing my study hours was part of my journey for making margin for family and friends. There will not be an increase in income due to this advanced degree.... so perhaps it is an unhealthy lust.
I choose to eliminate the lust for affection and self-centeredness and continue to seek the light.
Lust- is a desire for things forbidden. Where does your wife fall under lust?
Margin, where is the margin for Christ?
And just one more question. The things that have been removed. It seems that it was only because of circumstances. Does that mean if things are recovered they will come back?
Point taken on the circumstances. On the material items I have had what I call my "pretty people" phase. I think there is a healthy balance of supplying a safe fun environment. Where it gets unhealthy is the purpose or the driving force. I'm reminded of a phrase shared by a mentor early in my career. You work so you can be with your family - you don't work for work.
Margin for Christ is first and foremost on my list. Then my wife and family. All my life I thought that love was just an illusion - that it wasn't real. I'm finding in Christ that love exists and that evil exists. That we must choose love.
Lust for my wife - you know I had a meeting with an accountability church mentor this morning (because I'm so fearful of ridicule in todays Dare 26). He made a comment that I'm trying so hard to try and get my wife back. I corrected him - I don't want my old life back - I don't lust for that. What I'm feeling is a true love, through Christ, that I would like to share with her. But it has to be her choice to walk the walk. It is my job to let the brightness of His love shine through me. It is my job to realize that it is not going to me carrying her through "foot prints in the sand" - it will be Christ.
Love was an illusion. Without Christ what you thought love was, lets just call it infatuation... LOL.
True love is amazing. True love through Christ is not based on circumstances, or as it is when you follow your heart "living for the moment". It is just flat out real, honest, heck even simple.
Fear of ridicule. I love that. I remember that. In fact, in my situation, I said to the Lord, if I do this, there is no turning back, she is gone forever. But I knew to be right with Christ, I had to do it. And I no longer could do this on my own. I handed it over to Christ, and said your will be done. It was bad... But without that trust in Christ, her and I would not be where we are now.
And dont look at it as ridicule, that is a concern of the flesh. You are walking with Christ. Look at it as humbling yourself for Christ, to make it right with Him.